INSPIRATION WEEK kicks off with Chris Guillebeau on Sufficiency!

This week is officially INSPIRATION WEEK here on LITTOF!

Each day I will post at least one time with something that inspires me. It could be a song, a quote, a blog post, a video... Doesn't matter the format. The inspiration is the point.

I thought I'd kick things off with a blog that inspired me at a really difficult time in my life. 

It was 2009. The night after our big "Freeing-Up Sale" where we attempted to sell EVERYTHING. Our house was suddenly bare. Our things no longer inhabited our space. The space. The space that was only ours to inhabit for a couple more weeks. Until the closing. Then no more.

The couch was gone. The chairs were gone. All of the furniture from the guest room. The dressers, the bed, the lamps. The floor lamp, the dining room table, the chairs, the bookcases were all gone. The pots and pans, the white dishes, the washer/dryer, the Danish sideboard were gone. The XBox, Guitar Hero, board games and books. Even Big Boy was gone.

I remember this moment so clearly. I was sitting at my laptop in my favorite place in the house-- at our kitchen counter in one of my beloved Eames fiberglass stools (that we still hadn't sold.) I was exhausted. I was overwhelmed. I was trying to imagine our future beyond my parents' basement. Where would we eventually land? If this was no longer our home, where would our home be?

I needed to sleep. But I couldn't. My mind was on a familiar loop:

Must. Make. Something. Happen. Must. Make. Something. Happen. Must. Make. Something. Happen. 

And in that state, sleep wasn't an option. So I surfed the web. And I somehow (through Twitter) landed on a blog I had never heard of before:

The Art of Non-Conformity by Chris Guillebeau 

I was drawn to the title. And especially the subtitle:

Unconventional Strategies for Life, Work & Travel

Yes. That's what we need. That's what we've been out to create. An unconventional strategy! Fate brought me to this blog at just the right moment. Now, who is this Chris Guillebeau? I quickly learn that he's no slouch and has this ridiculously amazing and inspiring goal to visit every country in the world. Every. Country. In. The. World. No joke.

On his About Page, he writes about his philosophy:

The essence of my philosophy is this: 

1. You don’t have to live your life the way other people expect you to.

2. You can do good things for yourself and help other people at the same time.

3. If you don’t decide for yourself what you want to get out of life, someone else will probably end up deciding for you.

4. There is usually more than one way to accomplish something.

YES! Right?! Doesn't that make you want to read more? It made me want to read more. The post from that day, June 15, 2009 was SUFFICIENCY.
 Here's what Chris says about sufficiency:

As I see it, sufficiency simply means enough. It means having everything you need and not lacking for anything.

How this translated to me in that moment: We truly can be content in the face of "losing" everything. In fact, let's stop talking about how we're "losing" things. And let's keep talking about how to be truly happy with what you have. Chris was speaking directly to me.

And it just got better. He writes:

For me, the most important principle of personal finance is self-awareness. The values of frugality and generosity are also important to me, but I don’t think either can be consistently practiced without first being self-aware. Both frugality and generosity have to be related to a deeper value of clearly understanding how we think about money.

To become self-aware, it helps to know exactly what sufficiency looks like for you. How much money do you really need to a) meet your basic obligations, and b) do the things you want to do?

Once you have that amount, you have the walk-away number. That’s the number with which you can comfortably walk away from any commitment that is incompatible with who you are and what you really want. You can start to focus on building a life more than building a bank account. You learn to value experiences (things you do) more than possessions (things you own).

Valuing experiences more than possessions?! YES! That's WHY we were selling all our stuff. Because, as Bob said, "I want to acquire experiences, not things."  I was so inspired by Chris' post and his manifesto.

Towards the end of the post, Chris writes:

One of the best feelings in the world comes from the awareness that everything will be okay.

And that's so true. That feeling, by the way, does not come from having tons of money. Money has nothing to do with it. Things have nothing to do with it. And that's a wonderful thing.

Without further ado, I send you over to The Art of Non-Conformity to read SUFFICIENCY and discover more inspiration than you might be able to handle at Chris' site.

After reading his post (and after inevitably joining him on Facebook, following him on Twitter and delving into the archives,) come back here and share with us what you took from it.


And I'm taking suggestions for inspiring posts. If you'd like to share something that inspires you - be it a person, an image, a poem, a story - write me at loveinthetimeofforeclosure@gmail.com

Or just share it in the comments below. Either way works!

Thank you! And I hope you're inspired!

-Steph

Anonymous people who hate

On Friday, Eastsider LA ran this short piece about the book: Silver Lake Foreclosure Drama Goes from Blog to Book.

"Did you see the Eastsider LA story about the book," I asked Bob as he walked in the door after work.

"Yeah. And don't worry. There were people defending you too."

"Defending me? What?"

"In the comments. You didn't read them? Don't."

"No. I didn't read them. They were mean?"

"They weren't only mean."

Shit. Not again. It all comes rushing back. I'm naked, surrounded by total strangers who are pointing and laughing at my not-as-fit-as-it-used-to-be naked body. Did I mention I'm naked? These strangers are drawing diagrams around my body... like commentators at a football game. They are circling the flaws. Both inner and outer. There's no escape.

Other people's opinions
I know how it goes because I experienced it when we were in the midst of losing our house... when I had first started blogging. I knew that writing about our huge debt, financial mistakes and foreclosure would attract opinions. A lot of opinions. And I'm of the mind that everyone is entitled to their opinion. They may be misguided. But still. We all have them. We all make snap judgements about people based on sometimes even the tiniest morsel of information. At least most of us do that. The ones that don't? I admire them. Greatly. Do they really exist?

Here's the thing, most of us have these snap judgements but don't go posting them online in the comment section. Most of us don't wish perfect strangers ill. Most of us don't get online and point and point an laugh at people when they're down. We either keep our judgements to ourselves or we acknowledge them and let them go because we realize that no one is actually perfect. We realize that we aren't perfect. And we have compassion. For ourselves and others. We have the ability to stand in someone else's shoes and at least try to imagine what it might be like for them.

My very own internet haters
Back in 2009 I made the mistake of reading the comments section on the Curbed LA article.

This is what I learned about us from the comments section...

According to various anonymous posters, we are:

-Pretentious dumbasses
-Self-absorbed jackasses
-Attention whores
-We have poor taste in music
-We are liars who lied about our finances
-We deserve everything that is happening to us
-We are gamblers
-We are scammers
-We will probably end up getting divorced and one particular commenter actually said they hoped that we did. (seriously)

Some of those commenters actually researched the terms of our mortgage from both our house and our condo. (I can only imagine how much time they wasted doing this!)

They speculated on which house we actually lived in. They made fun of our neighborhood. They made fun of the fact that I was a failed writer. They criticized the fact that we re-financed our mortgage. Bring me one homeowner who wouldn't at least try to refinance when interest rates drop. Banks buy and sell mortgages all the time and a homeowner it isn't considered "good form" to refinance?! Anyway... that's an entirely new can of worms.

They assumed that we were flippers since we were in such a hurry to renovate the house. They made up stories about us. They spent a lot of time talking about all the mistakes we had made and how awful we are as human beings.



I let them get to me
To say that this bothered me, well, is a gross understatement. I felt sick to my stomach for days after reading the comments. I fell into a pit of despair wherein I just beat myself up with the belief that these anonymous strangers were right about me. I am a horrible person and deserve every horrible thing happening to me. Then I got so pissed at myself for caring what complete strangers think about me and allowing their uninformed snap judgements bring me down.

I'd already beat myself up enough for landing in the situation we were in. And that was no secret. I wrote about that in the open on the blog. I made it clear that we didn't look at ourselves as victims. Not in the least. We acknowledged that we were responsible for our situation and that's exactly what gave us the power to be able to keep everything in perspective. Besides, we were trying to do everything to make it right. We weren't strategically walking away from our house like so many people are doing nowadays. These anonymous jerks didn't know us. And bless them for all their perfection. I'm sure they've never made a single mistake.


"Attention Seeking Whores"?
And we are total attention whores for writing publicly about our financial drama.

Well, I've been called a drama queen and attention-seeker before. By my family. The people that know me best. But they never said it in a disparaging way. But rather in a loving way. Okay, I admit. I definitely have a flair for the dramatic. And as a kid, my favorite line was, "Mom! LOOK AT ME!!!!"

I'm a Leo, after all. So, attention-seeking is a personality trait that I've battled/embraced/battled my whole life. I've always felt like it was wrong to be someone who wants attention. And this is why that comment really stung. Because I didn't want to be an "attention whore." I just wanted to help people. By sharing what we were going through. Because NOBODY WAS DOING IT. NO ONE. Not one other person.

At the time that I started the blog, foreclosure was a word you whispered, not shouted. People weren't talking about it. Some not even to their own spouses. And certainly not in public places. As someone who was facing losing our house, I wanted to read a first-person perspective. I wanted to know what to expect. I wanted to know how to avoid it. How to course-correct. I wanted to know we weren't alone.

This was the genesis for the blog. I wrote about openly about foreclosure because no one else was doing it. I wrote about our foreclosure and our commitment to learn from our mistakes because it helped us get through it. I wrote about the drama because I am a writer and I process by writing. And it helped. It helped us. And it helped others too.

But you know this, lovely readers. Those of you who have been here since the beginning. You know.

But more importantly, I know. We know. We know who we are and what we're out to create. We know that we're far from perfect. We know that as hard as we try, we'll never completely have our shit together. We'll never be perfect. But we can learn. And make up for our mistakes by not repeating them. By reaching out to others. By being a voice for positivity.

How to not care what the haters think
Needless to say, after my Curbed LA experience, I chose not to read the comments on the Eastsider LA post. I was told that in addition to the haters, there were also people defending us. Just like on the Curbed LA post. And that's nice. But I am really working on not caring what total strangers think of us and instead focus on what is within my control...

Being a responsible, generous, loving and authentic human being.

I don't always succeed in every area. But I get a new chance to make that effort every day. Every moment, actually. Every moment is a choice to either be great or something else.

As my grandma and probably every grandma in history used to say:

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

In this internet day in age, that has changed to:

"If you don't have anything nice to say to their face, go online and say it anonymously."

So, anonymous commenters, I say to you:

Thank you for being such a shining light of perfection in this world. I don't know what we'd do without people like you who are so unburdened by compassion and have never made a single mistake in your entire life.

Did I "ask" for this?

I suppose so. I did choose to put myself out there in a very public way. Not only did I write about an embarrassing topic on my blog, I also wrote a book. I really put myself out there.

Having unflattering things written about you is not fun. It can really sting. It all comes with the territory, though. If you choose to create and put something into the world, you're going to open yourself up to opinions and judgements. That is the price. It just is. And the quantity of haters only increases as your impact in the world grows.

As such, fear of other people's judgements is what keeps a lot of people from putting themselves out there.

So what do you do? Hold back? Hell, no.

Then what?

Ignore the haters. And just keep on putting yourself out there.

I'm glad I did.

Why?

Because I know it makes a difference.

How? Because you tell me that it does.

Thank you for telling me. It really does help to know that.
How else to deal with the hate?

Take Tim Ferriss' advice
Tim Ferriss is the author of the bestsellers- The 4-Hour Workweek and The 4-Hour Body. Bob and I are both big fans of him and his out-of-the-box approach to life. He is someone who holds nothing back. And he's also not a stranger to internet haters. His video presentation "Tim Ferriss Scam! Learning to Love Haters: Practical Tactics" is really eye-opening.

And tip #5 from the Mashable interview with Tim Ferriss-  7 Great Principles for Dealing with Haters - is especially helpful:

5. “If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” (Epictetus)
“Another way to phrase this is through a more recent quote from Elbert Hubbard,” Ferriss says. “‘To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” Ferriss, who holds a Guinness World Record for the most consecutive tango spins, says he has learned to enjoy criticism over the years. Ferriss, using Roman philosophy to expand on his point, says: “Cato, who Seneca believed to be the perfect stoic, practiced this by wearing darker robes than was customary and by wearing no tunic. He expected to be ridiculed and he was, he did this to train himself to only be ashamed of those things that are truly worth being ashamed of. To do anything remotely interesting you need to train yourself to be effective at dealing with, responding to, even enjoying criticism… In fact, I would take the quote a step further and encourage people to actively pursue being thought foolish and stupid.”

New goal: Learn to enjoy criticism.

What a difference that would make! I figure that the more books I sell, the more criticism.
I hope to get lots of practice.

Love in the Time of Foreclosure, the eBook is here!

I am so thrilled to officially announce that LOVE IN THE TIME OF FORECLOSURE is now an eBook!  Now you can read our triumph over foreclosure story -- edited and expanded-- all in one place.

I wrote a lot of new material to fill in some blanks that I left on the blog. In the book, you will find posts that I wrote during our time in foreclosure, but never published. Why? Because the material was too sensitive at the time and I was afraid of potentially scaring off any potential buyers for fear that I might blog about them.

I am extremely proud of the book and hope that it will make a big difference for people who are experiencing financial hardship of any kind - not just foreclosure. 

Here is what Dick Gordon of "The Story" (heard on public radio stations nationwide) has to say about Love in the Time of Foreclosure:

"Stephanie Walker has the wit to transform the shame and anxiety of foreclosure into a genuine human adventure. Its a rare story-teller who can endure the soul-shaking loss of a home, and the concurrent stress on relationships, and see through that - one's higher priorities in life. Stephanie does this with the kind of humor and personal insight that challenges the fierce attachment that we have to bricks and boards, and she leads us to a new understanding of what's really important as  "home"."

It is available as an eBook on AMAZON for the Kindle and on BARNES & NOBLE'S WEBSITE for the Nook.

Don't have an eReader? NO PROBLEM. You can still read the book. Just go to AMAZON and you can get the Kindle version for PC or even your Android. They have versions for all devices so that you can just read it on your computer.

If my blog has made a difference for you, I hope you will buy the book. By the way, Amazon makes it really easy to give as a gift as well.

To buy it for your Kindle, click HERE.

To buy it for your Nook, click HERE.

To buy it for your computer, click HERE.

I'm so grateful for the opportunity to share our story and make a difference for even just 1% of the millions of Americans facing foreclosure. Or anyone, for that matter, dealing with challenging financial issues in this crazy economy. I strongly believe that our story can make a difference... that's the point in all of this.

Thank you all so much!

-Steph

Financial problems can strengthen a marriage

I was recently interviewed for an article about how a financial crisis can actually strengthen a marriage. That story is here. Check it out! It's a great piece. I'm so glad to see this type of reporting on the financial crisis. There is hope, after all!

How Financial Troubles Can Help Relationships by Erica Sandberg -- CreditCards.com

Don't let foreclosure occupy your every thought

One of the biggest traps to fall into when facing foreclosure is allowing your financial crisis to occupy your every thought. When you're being bombarded with phone calls from creditors and letters from the bank it's not easy to live a life outside of foreclosure. It's as though your financial problems have set up base camp in your brain. Right? And they use your subconscious insecurities about your self-worth for kindling. The fire continues to burn in your head. Its oxygen is your fear of failure.

So, it's truly not easy. I completely get it. But you can douse those flames

You can create a foreclosure-free zone in your brain.

Here are 4 things that worked for me.

1. Pay attention to your thoughts
It's easy to allow automatic negative thoughts to overpower your mind if you're not paying attention. So start by paying attention. Notice how often you allow your thoughts to return to financial crisis and foreclosure. And get that you're actually the one allowing your thoughts to go there.

2. Just change the channel
My mom gave me some advice as a little girl that has helped me in this area. I used to have a hard time falling asleep because my mind would go to dark places. I would think scary thoughts and I would become too scared to sleep. One night Mom said, "Just change the channel."

That resonated with me. I reached my hands up to my ears and turned them like knobs on a TV. (Remember when TVs used to have knobs?) I turned my hands around my ears until I landed on a happy channel. And then I drifted peacefully to sleep.

It worked for me then and it works still today. When I'm overcome by negative or dark thoughts I know that I can just change the channel. If the little girl version of me could do it, the adult me can too.

3. Designated wallowing
Being in foreclosure, or unemployed, or in bankruptcy are serious states of being. There's no question about that. Sometimes, when my mind was overwhelmed by losing everything, the only thing that would work was to actually allow the thoughts to exist. But only for a designated period of time. If you must, wallow. But only for an hour at the most.

Set a timer and declare the next hour your personal pity party. Go full out. Pity yourself to the max. Be a world-class wallower. Be dramatic. And when the hour is up, move on. Change the channel.

4. Live your best life now
Losing everything isn't easy. But, in my experience, one of the worst things you can do is allow it to occupy your life. Live your best life now. Do not wait for the crisis to pass before you start living. Your life is happening now. It's not waiting for you. Don't miss it. (I'm starting to sound like Ferris Bueller now: "Life moves pretty fast; if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it!")

You'll be surprised what amazing things you can create in the midst of losing everything. Trust me.

What would you add to this list?


Like this post? If so, please share it. You can easily "Like" it by clicking the handy dandy thumbs up right here at the bottom. Thank you!

7 Words Steve Jobs Never Uttered

Image credit: Jonathan Mak

I, like so many people, was surprised to find myself so impacted by the news that Steve Jobs died last night. Surprised because, though I am a huge Apple fan, I've never given too much thought to the co-founder. It's not like I sat around thinking about how remarkable Steve Jobs is every time I checked my e-mail on my iPhone. It was never a conscious thought. I guess I took for granted that an actual human being invented the remarkable tools that impact my life on a daily basis.

But last night at dinner when Bob said, "Steve Jobs died?" after sneaking a peak at his iPhone, I found myself choked up by the news.

"What? No. What? Seriously? He's dead?"

The news made me sad. Sad for him. Sad for his family. And sad for the world. The human being behind the technology was suddenly real in my mind. A real person. A visionary. Who succumbed at such an early age to this (and please pardon my french here) fucking disease.

How to be like Steve
Today, after watching and reading countless tributes, I'm left thinking about how I want to be more like Steve Jobs. And how there are seven key words that stop me in my tracks before I even begin to think about being more like Steve Jobs.

Those seven words are:

That's just not how things are done.

Has anyone ever told you that before? Have you ever uttered those words? Maybe you've said them to yourself.  Maybe you say them to yourself on a regular basis.

I led a large part of my life prisoner to those seven words. "That's just not how things are done."

The "rules." The way you're supposed to do things. According to... who? Those who came before? The rule setters? The problem with the sentiment is that it only looks back on what has been done in the past and implies that anything never tried before is invalid.

I've been thinking about this a lot as I've been calling myself out for being stopped by fear. And today... all anyone is thinking about is Steve Jobs. Right? I mean, aren't you? Reflecting on Steve Jobs, reading all the wonderful tributes about his extraordinary life has me thinking about the limits I place on my own life. 

I remember ten years ago (or something like that) when I had just finished writing my first full-length play, THREE FITTINGS, my good friend and actor Porter Kelly suggested we produce the play ourselves. I was against it. Why? Because that's just not how things are done. No.

You're supposed to send your play out to any and all theaters that might possibly be interested in producing your play in one of their four slots per year. Then you're supposed to wait up to a year (sometimes more, sometimes never) to hear back as to whether or not those theaters want to produce your play. And if they all say no, you either put the script in a figurative drawer or revise some more, send it out again and wait another year. Lots of waiting. And trips to the post office.

That's how "real" playwrights do it. That's at least what I thought. I thought self-producing was not in "good form." And that "people" would look down on it. They wouldn't consider it a "real" production. I'd be considered one of those playwrights. The kind that self-produce. I obviously had a negative connotation attached to "self-produce."

I didn't look at it as a way to take the bull by the horns. As a way to actually BE an artist as opposed to waiting around for someone else to make me one. To live in the moment. To chart my own course. To make art now!

No. Self-production for me was "just not how things are done."

So...

I'm not sure how I came around or what Porter or Bob said to change my mind. Because one of them, if not both, must have said something to pull me out of my little box. Or maybe it was something my mom said. Or my dad. Whatever it was, I did eventually come around. Maybe I just got tired of waiting. Porter and I formed WALKER KELLY PRODUCTIONS and produced the heck out of my play. We worked with some pretty fantastic people. Johnny Duda Directed. Cece Tio Assistant Directed. We had a cast of nine amazing women.... who all got along. It was an amazing experience.

The relationships created during that time are of the life-long variety. I learned so much. It was hugely challenging, frustrating, exhilarating, exhausting and extremely rewarding. If people thought I was a fraud for self-producing, I was having too much fun to care. To think that I could have missed out on such an amazing experience because I was afraid of what other people would think... just makes me crazy.

Those seven words put a stop to creativity. They don't allow for exploration and discovery. They are very dangerous words when put together. And they don't hold water. The only purpose they serve is to keep people small.

It has taken me a long time to really get how much I lived life by the "rules," beholden to those seven words. I didn't see how much it limited me. How afraid I was to take any action that might be considered "crazy" or "misguided" or "naive." It kept me living life in a tiny box. Making tiny progresses along the way.

And it's so unsatisfying.

I don't know for fact, but I'd be willing to bet that Steve Jobs never in his life uttered those seven words. He didn't follow the "rules," instead he made his own by trusting his "curiosity and intuition." To a person who is carving his own path in the world, the only thing to do when someone tells them, "That's just not how things are done," is laugh. Laugh because they know better.

I am finding myself incredibly moved by the passing of Steve Jobs. I just watched his 2005 Stanford commencement speech (thanks to the link shared by Man Vs. Debt in his incredibly moving tribute post today) and found myself crying.

Why? Because it's always sad when the world loses a visionary. Steve Jobs was a genius in the truest sense of the word. And it is with him in mind that I banish the words "That's just not how things are done" forever from my life and replace them with the mantra that Mr. Jobs shared with that Stanford audience: Stay hungry. Stay foolish.



If you haven't already watched this video, I HIGHLY recommend you do. It's incredibly inspiring.

And if you have a moment, share in the comments below how you can be more like Steve in your own life.

This post was written on a MacBook. Thank you, Mr. Jobs.

Banks burn borrowers post-foreclosure

If you're someone who is in foreclosure or teetering on the precipice, you need to read this Wall Street Journal article: House is Gone But the Debt Lives On

Why is it essential reading? Because it sheds light on the fact that banks are more actively pursuing borrowers post-foreclosure for the loss on the house. It's called a "deficiency judgement." I think there's a misconception out there that once you lose your house to foreclosure, that it's all over. But it's not.

This is why my mom - who is a Realtor and has been for 25+ years - strongly advised us to do everything in our power to sell the house in a short sale as opposed to letting it go to foreclosure. She wisely said something like this:

"At the point the bank takes the house back and auctions it off, there's no getting money out of you. Obviously. You have none. You've lost it all. But, you'll get back on your feet. And in a few years, you'll be doing all right. Maybe you'll even have some money in savings. That's when the bank shows up to press you for the deficiency. When you're well past the foreclosure. Once you have money again. You don't want that to happen. In that case, not only are you losing your house and your investment, you're also paying for it years down the road."

It was sage advice. And yet another reason (in the long list of reasons) why we didn't want to lose the house to foreclosure. We tried everything to sell it outright. When that didn't happen, we tried everything for a short sale. And fortunately, that worked.

The WSJ story says:

Foreclosed homes seldom fetch enough to cover the outstanding loan amount, both because buyers financed so much of the purchase price—up to 100% of it during the housing boom—and because today's foreclosures take place following a four-year decline in values.
"Now there are foreclosures that leave banks holding the bag on more than $100,000 in debt," says Michael Cramer, president and chief executive of Dyck O'Neal Inc., an Arlington, Texas, firm that invests in debt. "Before, it didn't make sense [for banks] to expend the resources to go after borrowers; now it doesn't make sense not to." 

I know. Not good news if you're facing foreclosure. But you need to know the consequences of foreclosure. It's not just a negative impact on your credit score. Knowledge is power. The "rules" are changing every day. So, keep reading. Keep talking to your bank. Keep looking for alternatives. And keep focusing on all the things that make you grateful. 

House is Gone but the Debt Lives On - Wall Street Journal

What do you think of Bank of America's $5 debit card fee?

Ron Swanson - Photo credit: nbc.com

I'm not a Bank of America customer anymore. I haven't been for a while. But the announcement of their $5 monthly fee for the privilege of having a debit card really bugs me. It more than bugs me.

We haven't used a credit card in three years. Or more? A little more. But we do use a debit card. We have to. It's the only way we can buy anything online. And they're handy. Most places don't take personal checks, but they do take debit cards. Debit cards makes life a lot easier when you're living a cash-based life. It eliminates the need to go to the teller at the bank... and only during bank hours. Making sure you have enough cash, etc. And it eliminates the need to carry a lot of cash on your person.

If my bank (Chase) were to start charging a $5 fee to have a debit card, I would switch banks. Seriously. Why? Because I already get charged transaction fees. And this $5 fee is for what, exactly?

Well, according to a Wall Street Journal article,

"The industry says it needs the fees to recoup revenue it will lose because of new government regulations taking effect Saturday that cap what they can charge merchants for debit-card transactions."

So they are trying to make up lost revenue by charging the debit card holder instead of the merchant. Sigh. This is business. I know. But I don't have to like it. Not at all.


More from the Wall Street Journal:

"The economics of offering a debit card have changed with recent regulations," a spokeswoman for Bank of America said Thursday.
In its internal memo, Bank of America said it will levy the $5 fee each billing cycle in which a customer uses a debit card to make a purchase. The fee will not be triggered by transactions at automated-teller machines.
The fee will apply to standard checking accounts, but not most premium accounts held by affluent customers. Banks typically exempt their premium accounts from many fees because they tend to be more profitable than standard accounts with lower balances.

I wonder how long it will take for all the banks to follow suit. I know that right now some banks are using the BOA announcement to brag about the fact that they don't charge a monthly fee. Yet.

Maybe Ron Swanson has it right. Time to buy gold and bury it in lots of different places. Then bury decoy gold to throw off your exes. Ah, I love Parks & Recreation. Don't you?

What do you think about all of this? Is it fair? Is it nonsense? Or is it just business? 

Would you change banks on principal?

LITTOF STORIES: 4 People, 1 Dog and an Airstream

Over the last couple of years I have had the privilege of hearing some pretty inspiring stories from readers of Love in the Time of Foreclosure. Opening these e-mails always makes my day. And because they've made such a difference for me, I want to pass the inspiration along to you.

Meet LITTOF STORIES, a new feature on Love in the Time of Foreclosure that will feature readers' inspiring triumph over foreclosure stories. The key word: Inspiring.

The format of this series will likely change. Nothing is set in stone. I plan to stumble my way into the best format for these stories. Also, I’m not crazy about the name. It’s fine. But fine isn’t what I’m looking for. But it does the job for now. I reserve the right to change the name when I’m struck by inspiration.

With that said, I am happy to introduce you to Tami Rawn.

I "met" Tami when she sent me an e-mail after reading my post Could You Live in an Airstream Without Any Closets? Her answer was, yes. Yes, you can. And I did! 

After selling her Florida home in a short sale, she moved into an Airstream with her two kids, boyfriend and dog. Two adults. Two children. And a Black Lab. In an Airstream. True story.

You know my obsession with Airstreams, right? Well, here she was living my fantasy. And so boldly.

 

Our initial e-mail exchange went like this:

TAMI: Currently my boyfriend, myself, my 8 yr. old daughter, 2 yr. old son, and last but not least my 10 yr. old black lab all live in our 1975 Airstream Land Yacht.  I know, it sounds crazy and that's what everyone says, but we love it.  I owned a house, until the market went upside down and so did the neighborhood, so I was forced to short sell.  Not wanting to rent or buy another house, I went to plan B, my bucket list, to buy and live in an Airstream.  And I am so glad I did. I love it and it has helped me to have the courage to take on other things in my life that I wouldn't of normally tried.

ME: I'm fascinated by the idea that you all live in this Airstream together! An 8 yr old AND a 2 yr old. And 2 adults and a dog?! Where do you live? How big is this Airstream? How much do you pay to have it hooked up to electricity? Do you move around and see the country or are you in one place?

TAMI: Let’s see… my Airstream is 31 ft. long, we have moved 4 times in the Airstream. As my daughter Coral Phoenix is now in the third grade, I am now stuck for a year at our new spot.  It's cheap to live like this, about $575 a month -- that includes power, water, cable, and of course lot rent.  Campground living is different than a trailer park, here people pick up and leave everyday and are replaced with new people from crazy places. My favorite thing about this so far is bbq everyday and watching the kids play on the swing set.  It's quiet and slower. The rat race is essentially gone from your to-do list. Oh one more thing, when you move your Airstream, you don't even have to make your bed, or pack up anything, so the kids adjust very easy, which is extremely important!

:::

So you can see why I had to find out more. I thought Tami had just the type of story to kick off this series. I pitched it to Tami, she agreed and we were off to the races...

 

4 People, 1 Dog and an Airstream-- 

A LITTOF STORIES Q&A with Tami Rawn:

ME: First, please tell us about the house you used to own. Where was it and how long did you live there?

TAMI: My house was a cute little green garden house in Boynton Beach, FL. We lived there almost 4 years, until the neighborhood turned very scary and dangerous.  The houses around us were rented out for very cheap and with that comes neighbors that just don’t care.

ME: Tell us about your short sale/ foreclosure. What were the circumstances?

TAMI: Our house was purchased for $147, 000. It was the perfect first time buyers' home, great to fix up and make it a nice home. But the market went upside down and the value dropped way below.  I tried to rent it out, but the neighborhood turned bad, and in return no one wanted to rent it for the mortgage payment of $1,200.  So essentially I would have to pay for someone to live there and destroy all our hard work that we had put into making it beautiful.  So our only option was to short sell it for a grand total of $38,000.

ME: How long was the process?

TAMI: The process went very quick because the neighbor down the street had moved here from Haiti and purchased my house and the one next to me for his family members moving to the states.  So needless to say it was started and finished in less than a month, once put on the market.

ME: What was the hardest moment?

TAMI: Hardest moment I would have to say was when I signed my home over and left with a free pen from the title company with no money and no house.  Also a month later I drove by the house that I put my heart and soul into, and found it to be without love.  I had filled the yard with beautiful gardens, and the new owners had took them all out. It took the breath out of me.

ME: What was your most triumphant moment?

TAMI: Feeling free of the concrete walls that never moved.  I can say I loved that house, but after that I realized that my family members are my home, not the walls and roof that we lived in.

ME: How are you better off now?

TAMI: I wouldn’t say better off, I would say wiser, freer if that’s a word, and more importantly aware that the “American Dream” isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

ME: What does your living situation look like today?

TAMI: Like a “silver bullet” as my daughter says.  But really it is smaller, cheaper, mobile, cozier.

ME: What advice would you give to someone who is either worried about losing their home or is actually in foreclosure?

TAMI: The world can really throw you to the wolves sometimes, but it’s how you handle it that proves how strong you really are.  Never, ever worry about material objects, as long as you have your family and everyone is healthy, then life is good, my friend!

ME: Anything else?

TAMI: I suggest to everyone:  Make a bucket list, and start crossing things off before it’s too late.

Tami, thank you so much for being the first to share your story here on LITTOF STORIES. I still find it to be totally inspiring. 

Readers, please let Tami know how her story has inspired you by leaving a comment below.

If you or someone you know would like to contribute your triumph-over-adversity story to LITTOF STORIES, please e-mail me: loveinthetimeofforeclosure at gmail.com


Thanks!

Steph

5 tips for renting an apartment after a short sale, bankruptcy and/or foreclosure

Finding the perfect apartment is hard enough without a short sale, bankruptcy or foreclosure in your past. With any one of those in your recent history, you become a high-risk. We had two. Short sale and bankruptcy. But we were still able to rent an apartment without forking over our first born and four months rent in advance. Here's how we did it...

First of all, rent-free living is the way to go if you can swing it. That's a big "duh" in my book. I've shared resources... the biggest being The Caretaker Gazette. So many rent-free opportunities. But in most cases you have to be willing to move or to be isolated. Like we were. We were living rent-free on a beautiful island in a wonderful, old house that used to be a bed and breakfast and was only rumored to be haunted. For four months at the end of my pregnancy, Bob commuted to San Francisco for work. A seven hour trip that included two planes, a shuttle and a train. When the baby came along and his work called him to Chicago, we followed the call. To guarantee being together. To be nearer to the grandparents. To guarantee income.

That meant we had to find an apartment. But with a short sale and a bankruptcy in our recent past, we knew we'd never pass a credit check. So how were we able to land our apartment? Here are a five tips that made all the difference in our apartment search:

1. Don't bite off more than you can pay.
Only rent what you can afford to pay cash each month. Don't put yourself in a situation where you're going to be scrambling to make ends meet. The last thing you want is to move into an apartment you can't afford and then have to move again.

2. It's not what you know, it's how many landlords you know.
A landlord who you find through a friend of a friend is going to be a lot more understanding of your situation than a random landlord you find on Craigslist. We put the word out on Facebook that we were looking for an apartment in Chicago and immediately got a response from our friend Cece. She shared a posting for an apartment in Lincoln Square in a building that was owned by a friend of hers from high school. We got in touch with him, said Cece sent us his way and he responded immediately. To our delight, the apartment was one block away from our friends Megan and Jamie in a neighborhood that we love. It seemed meant to be.

3. Make a good first impression.
Our opportunity for a first impression was via phone. It's much harder this way. Because we couldn't be there to meet Andrew in person or see the apartment, we sent my mom and Tom. If you're going to send someone on your behalf like we did, make sure they'll make a good impression. Mom and Tom were great. Of course, they're so personable. And because Mom is a realtor, she talked to Andrew from that perspective. They had such a nice time talking that Andrew took them out for gelato to the cafe on the corner.

4. Be honest.
Don't try to hide your financial hardship. It won't work, anyway. It will all come out in the credit check. Yes, I have seen those ads on Craigslist that say "No Credit Check." Those always felt a little suspicious to me. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Maybe they're fine. But most landlords will ask for a credit check. And when Andrew mentioned the credit check, I was honest.

"We won't be able to pass a credit check," I said. 

And then I explained everything. How we owned this house in L.A., how we did a huge renovation, how Bob lost his job and we couldn't sell the house and how I wrote about all of it on Love in the Time of Foreclosure. By this point, Andrew had already met Mom and Tom and liked them. He considered our mutual friend Cece "good people" and if we were friends with her, we must be too. So when I began to explain our financial situation, he listened with an open mind.

Still. I was worried. I knew that it wasn't a slam dunk. We were a risk for any landlord based on our history. I could only hope that Andrew saw our integrity through our story. Luckily I had documented our story on this blog and could send him there to read it. And he did. We talked the next day and he was ready to rent us the place without worry.

Our honesty, character references (so to speak) and Bob's income all added up to "good tenant material."

5. Write a letter to the landlord
It's not uncommon for a buyer to write a letter to accompany a bid on a house. So why not do the same when trying to rent an apartment... especially now that there is so much competition for rentals? Start with why you love the apartment. Show that you'll take care of it. As a former homeowner you know first hand "pride in ownership." Talk about that. Then share your story. Your Letter of Hardship is a good jumping off point. Don't be afraid to put it all out there. If you are good tenant material, it will show through your story. Lastly, tell the landlord what getting this apartment would mean to you.

Good luck. And just trust that no matter where you end up, you'll make it your own.

Anyone out there want to add anything? Any more tips? Anecdotes to share? 
Please share in the comments below.