Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Quest for My Organic Self... or What Color is My Hair?

I am embarking on an experiement. A quest, actually. To discover my natural hair color. What color is it? Dirty blonde? Ash? Gray? I have no idea. Well, I have an idea. I've seen the roots. The "grow-out."

I've been enhancing my hair with chemicals regularly since college. At that time I was blonde and highlights were my thing. Five and a half years ago I decided the blonde was too hard to keep up so I went completely the other way... a sort of reddish brown. The last time I dyed my hair, I dyed it dark brown (almost black.) And it's growing out. More gray hair than I care to admit is appearing on my head. I blame foreclosure. But that's not what this post is about.

It's about letting go. It's about turning a bad thing into a good thing. I can't afford to be paying my stylist $100 to dye my hair so what do I do? Well, obviously I could just dye it myself. I've done it before. That, of course, was my first thought. But, then I realized that there is yet another opportunity here and I'm going to embrace it. I said that I would approach this entire experience of foreclosure/financial hardship as an opportunity-laden treasure (well, that may not be exactly the way I put it, but the intention remains the same.)

Yes, this is an opportunity. To let go. To confront all of my "looking good" issues. To see myself au nautural after years of being chemically enhanced (so dramatic, I know.) It's an opportunity to let my hair rest. I'm letting it go. Through all kinds of crazy striped color weird and potentially extremely ugly awkwardness.

I'll be honest. I'm a little afraid. I'm afraid I'll look ugly. That people will point and stare. That I'll have way more gray than I can possibly handle. That I'll look old, haggard and unkempt.

So why am I doing this? To embrace my fear. To strip me down to my organic self. To save money. To make a small personal sacrifice for the benefit of our household. To just see. See what? I don't know... what I really look like, what comes up for me. I'm just gonna see.

I have asked Bob to make an equally challenging sacrifice. He's thinking on that today.

Anyone out there want to join us?

1 Comments:

Kim Hooper said...

I love this challenge! You'll be beautiful, regardless. You're blessed with that kind of face :)

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