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Showing posts with label estate sale. Show all posts
Showing posts with label estate sale. Show all posts

Monday, June 15, 2009

The Freeing-Up Sale: We came, we sold, we have nothing but this blog post to show... and it feels fantastic!

How do you move powerfully forward in life during an unexpected transition?

How do you say goodbye without regret?

Lots of people hate goodbyes so they avoid them entirely. Others pick fights to make the leaving easier. Others use reasons to justify the decision to leave. Do we all do that? I know I do. What's wrong with that? Nothing's wrong with it. It's just that we're looking for a way to say goodbye without having to rely on reasons to make it okay. To simply say goodbye. Not good riddance. Not why is this happening to us?!

Just good and bye.

When we bought this house, though I was in love with it and so thrilled to move in I was actually also sad to leave our condo. Why? Well, because we were happy there. It was our little haven. We had just gotten to the place where we felt really at home. It was decorated perfectly, we’d made good friends in the building, we had our routine. We were comfortable. Yes. We were comfortable.

So when it was time to say goodbye to our condo, I had to focus on what I didn’t like about living there to make it easier.

There are always little things, right? Though we owned our own condo, I always wanted more space. More storage. More privacy. More conveniences- such as a washer/dryer in our actual living space. But those are little things. And easy to accept.

What I really didn’t like was the crazy neighbor who one night in a drug-induced haze threatened to kill everyone and threw all of his belongings out the window into our courtyard below. I didn’t like that we were constantly reviewing security tapes to find the people who had broken into our cars multiple times. I didn't like that a gentleman in our building had begun to leave threatening Post-It notes on our door accusing Bob of passing gas in the elevator and "using his flatulence as a weapon." (No, I am not kidding.) And I really didn’t like that the meth-addict neighbor had broken into our condo while I was in bed, stole my laptop and purse off of our dining room table and sold everything for his fix!

And that’s what I focused on when we moved.
It helped.

Now, in this situation, I can’t do that. I don’t have any of those reasons.

In this house, we have everything we always wanted: stunning views, an enclosed yard that Pablo can run around in, plenty of storage, plenty of room to entertain, gorgeous space, conveniences galore (2 bathrooms, washer/dryer in house, our own garage...)

Instead of crazy druggie neighbors who steal our stuff for a fix, we have neighbors who help carry our washer and dryer out of the house up a flight of stairs (as one of our lovely neighbors did on Saturday when we sold our washer and dryer!) We have neighbors who offer their daughter’s assistance to help us communicate with the president of Bank of America. Neighbors who walk Pablo when we're in a pinch and who give up their Sunday morning to be at our house at 7:30 AM to help us with a sale!! Yeah. Seriously. (Remember the friends I said we made in our condo building? Well, one of them was here both days, too.)

My point is that it's a lot harder to "pick a fight" with this house in order to make it easier to say goodbye.

So… what do you do when you can’t rely on a negative aspect to launch you from one situation into the next? To move you forward, to help you say goodbye? Well, for me, you just be here for as long as you can… eyes wide open. Not missing a single moment.

This weekend- selling all of our possessions- helped. It was so hard and long and terribly frustrating at times. But, necessary in terms of our own process. To help us let go and move forward without regret. I have so much to say about it and it's definitely challenging to organize my thoughts. I'm trying my best. What follows is a list of the highlights.


OUR FREEING-UP SALE


-FRIENDS Our friends being here to support us and help us through this process. We had people helping at all the critical moments. One friend who couldn't be here on the weekend was here weeks ago helping me sell my books, thus kick-starting the process. Another friend priced almost everything in our kitchen. Another shared important estate sale tips from her mom who used to run an estate sale business. So helpful! And another was here the night before making signs and wrapping the breakables until about 10 PM. We were saved by our friends. Saturday morning another friend arrived at 7:30 sharp with a baguette and hazelnut spread for all the volunteers. She even made name tags and lanyards for each of us. Thanks to our friends, the estate sale was so well organized that one person asked if we worked a lot of estate sales- assuming we were a business. I loved that moment.

-THE KIDS Watching the neighborhood kids delight in the small things we gave them— wind chimes, puzzles, books, etc. One neighborhood boy came over and said: “I have $20 and I want to spend it!” He had wanted to buy our fake pre-lit Christmas Tree. But it was $25. Of course, I would have struck a deal with him but his mom didn't want him to buy it. He came back and said, "My mom thinks $25 is too much for a Christmas Tree." So I sold him a tennis racket for $1. He was happy.

-LIKE "KING OF THE HILL" Being with our friends… while it was insanely busy on Saturday, we had some great moments. The experience was shared. We weren't going through this alone. I watched as our friends protected our possessions and got offended - on our behalf- by the people that haggled over 50 cents or a dollar. They contributed much needed help, support and fun. I can't say enough. Sunday, being so much slower than Saturday, was really like a lovely extended hang out with friends. Bob said, "I feel likeKing of the Hill" Referring to us sitting in our driveway watching the street, talking and drinking (coffee and water instead of beer.) Enjoying the sun and just being together without rushing away. Something that I've missed.

-DISCOVERIES Meeting neighbors we’ve never met and discovering new things about the neighborhood and the house. (I have a great story to share... and will do so in another blog post.)

-THE HOUSE Watching as total strangers enjoyed the view and asked "How much for the house?" One of our friends eventually put a tiny green "sold" sticker on the house. I don't think I noticed it until much later. But when I finally did, I laughed.


-THE CHARACTERS The older gentleman who arrived to the sale dressed in what looked like a boy scout uniform in very tight trousers. And the man who showed up at the end of the day on Sunday and said, "So who died?" When I explained that no one died, that we were just selling our entire 'estate' he said, "Well, I guess it's possible that I have the wrong definition for that term." Or the early bird that showed up at 6:30 AM on Saturday. Since we weren't opening until 8, he waited over an hour to get in. Then rolled on through our sale like a bulldozer with a method. He was a force... moving room to room, shuffling through things methodically before determining that there was nothing here worth his cash.

-BIG BOY Okay, how do I explain the importance of Big Boy? Let's just say that this little piggy bank has had some significance in our lives. He's been with us a while. And he's made connections with our friends and family. And yes, I sold Big Boy. For $5. When you're selling everything, you really are selling everything. Yes, I thought about keeping him. He's small. Easy to shove in a duffel. But my friend who was pricing things stuck a $5 price tag on him and I thought, "Well, there it is. Okay." It didn't occur to me that I was actually letting him go until I saw the people who were buying him. He was lying amongst their 'loot' like this:

I suddenly wanted to take him back and tell them, "I'm so sorry, but Big Boy's not for sale. That was a mistake." But then I thought how silly that would be. It's just a little piggy bank. This is a test. Let him go. And I did. But I got the relevance of the moment. So I asked the new owners of Big Boy if they would let me take a picture of them holding him. They obliged. But I won't post the picture here because I didn't ask their permission to do that. I got the sense that I was kind of freaking them out. The point is that I captured the moment. I think that picture was my completion. He has a new family now.

Friends of Big Boy: I know you might be disappointed that we sold him. I understand. But consider this: He very well could have been bad luck. Perhaps, even a curse- as Bob suggested. Or not. But he is just a doll. A symbol. Our version of the traveling gnome. And we can always find a replacement for that symbol. In fact, maybe we'll make that an ongoing thing here on the blog. Items auditioning to replace Big Boy. Stay tuned for that.

-RELATIVITY OF WORTH Watching strangers rifle through our belongings and ascribe a completely different value than we ever have. It really grounds you in the idea of relativity of worth. We made just over $3,000 on the sale. Yes, we still have some items left to sell. But not much. It's almost ALL gone. And what do we have to show? $3,000. Not much. Bob said, "That's only a little more than what we paid for our TV." Crazy, right? Fascinating. We may only have a little more than $3,000 to show for all of our belongings, but we have way more than that in emotional value. As they say, you can't put a price on freedom.

-SAYING GOODBYE OVER AND OVER AGAIN Having the opportunity with each little item sold to say goodbye over and over and over again. Until it no longer stings. We started with our dining room table a week ago. That stung. That brought tears to my eyes. Tonight I sit in my kitchen in my Eames stool (which still hasn’t sold) and am in a much emptier house than two days ago. The couch is gone. The green chair. Gone. The floor lamp. Gone. The coffee table, bookcases, books, fabulous mid-century modern wall unit. Gone. Almost all of our kitchen supplies- from our microwave to our tea kettle. Gone. And I feel so much better than I have in a long time. I do feel free. Light. Complete. I’ve let go. Truly. And am ready to move on.

I'm sure I will have more to say about the sale as the week progresses. There is a lot of material here. Many stories, characters, impressions. I am looking forward to the moment that there's literally nothing left in the house. What will we feel then?

In the meantime, I would love it if readers who were here for the sale- either as volunteers or as purchasers- would comment with either stories or your impressions from the sale. I want to see what you saw!

And lastly, I woke up this morning and read a blog post from a wonderful blog that was recently brought to my attention. The blog is called "The Art of Nonconformity" (AONC for short) and today's post is all about SUFFICIENCY. Chris, the author, writes:
"As I see it, sufficiency simply means enough. It means having everything you need and not lacking for anything."
He suggests that getting to that place of having enough requires not money, but a shift in thinking. A state of mind. And I wholeheartedly agree. We are engaging in this on a daily basis in an extremely concrete way. We are broke, but happier than ever. This very occurrence is why I started "Love in the Time of Foreclosure." Because, how can that be? With each post I write, I try to chip away at the answer. Today's AONC blog post speaks to it in a clear and powerful way. I highly recommend the read. The comments are great too. He's generated a rich dialogue.

Check it out:

Sufficiency - The Art of Nonconformity

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Bob, Pablo and a Change of Underwear

It's midnight before our big estate sale and we are still working. Bob is sniffling and coughing (feeling miserable) and I just realized I forgot to eat dinner and am suddenly starving (and crabby.) We're both tired. Which seems to go without saying.

Earlier tonight we noticed that our neighbor down the hill was also preparing for a sale in his garage. Because his house is down the hill from ours, we have to make sure to get people to keep driving up to our sale. Our friend made signs that say: THIS WAY TO THE ESTATE SALE (with an arrow) and ALMOST THERE!

Who knew that it would take so much time to plan to sell everything? I had no idea. And I really have no idea how we ended up with so much stuff. This really makes me never want to buy anything ever again. Ever!

I just cannot wait for it all to be gone. To be free of it. I'm so ready to simplify.

Bob's motto is now "Get rid of it." Every time I ask him, "Think we should keep this because we might want to use it later?" He responds (without even looking at whatever item I'm asking about,) "Get rid of it."

This process is long and arduous, but necessary. It's really having me get... really get... how much stuff we have that we absolutely don't need. All of it really. Except for, as I wrote before, Bob, Pablo (our Pug) and a change of underwear.

By the way, meet Pablo the Pug:



No, he's not for sale!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The Sale

We are totally blown away by the interest we've gotten for our sale and I'm just posting very quickly to say:

If you have e-mailed us about any specific items for sale and haven't heard back from us, please understand. We're totally overwhelmed! We've received so many e-mails and really need to organize everything for the sale. So we hope you will come by this weekend if you can. I will try to follow up with everyone's interest on Monday... you know, in case we have anything left to sell that you might want. But do try to come this weekend. Thanks!

We also wanted to say this:

Thank you, Littof readers for your concern about us. When I wrote yesterday that we were planning to leave early because we didn't want to "camp out" in our house, several of you either commented or wrote in to express concern. You are worried that we are leaving the house empty for a week and announcing it to the world. Yes, in hindsight that was silly of me write that without explaining that, in fact, the house will not be empty. No, no, no. We have lovely friends who have taken care of our house over the last couple of years while we're away and they will be house sitting for us with their dog. Thank you guys for taking care of the house! Also, thank you to our neighbors for keeping an eye on it as well. We love our friends. We love our neighbors. We'll miss you!

Back to organizing, pricing, tagging...

Monday, June 8, 2009

Monday: Everything Must Go (including us)

Bob and I just had a lunch pow wow over noodles about everything we need to accomplish this week.

ITEM NUMBER 1: Sell Everything.

No problem. That's totally easy. You know what would be easier? Donating everything. Hmmm... we did consider that. But we have this big debt we're chiseling away at... chipping away at everything that isn't a work of art. Shedding, chipping, stripping it all away. What's left? The simple life. Each other and peace of mind.

Bob said, "I'm already there. I already feel a lightness even though I know we have this massive debt. Because I'm not afraid anymore. The fear is gone."

Ahhhhhhhh. Thank you, Bob. Perspective. We keep giving it back to each other. Passing it back and forth and in our best moments, sharing it.

But I digress. How are we selling everything? A combination of Craigslist and a big ol' estate sale. When? This weekend. June 13th & 14th.

ITEM NUMBER 2: Plan our departure.

It's official. We're leaving L.A. On June 19th. Or 20th. Well, we have to figure out if we're leaving the evening of the 19th or the morning of the 20th. We were going to stay until we closed on the house (which is June 27,) but then we realized that once we sell all of our furniture including lighting, plates, dishes, utensils, bedding, etc. we would essentially have to camp out in our house. And if we're going to be camping, we'd much rather camp out on the beach or somewhere in Oregon (where I've never been) or in some fabulous place. Not our house. That's just depressing.

So... we are having our big estate sale this weekend and hopefully selling everything. We'll use the rest of next week to handle the rest. Then we will pack up our car with only the bare essentials and head out on an adventure.

The start of a new life. New because we have a new mantra: Less is more.

ITEM NUMBER 3: Work, work, work.

Bob is working very hard on a deadline this week. I'm handling everything house-related so that he can focus on work. But, I'm also scoping out job opportunities and writing as much as possible. Oh... and working out. Yes, Bob and I have joined forces in the fitness arena and have begun to work out every day. It's not easy, but it sure feels great to be working out again! With everything going on we have to get up at 5 to get a workout in, but it's worth it. (I lost 2 pounds last week! Woo!)

We do know where we're headed. To Chicago. We plan to be there until November. Why? Well, we'll be living with my family until we can figure out where to live in the city. I want a view of the lake. Is this too much to ask? Possibly. Though Bob works from home and can technically live anywhere, there's actually a lot going on in Chicago with his company. So that's good. And for me. Well, I love Chicago in the summer. Being near family will be so great. And old friends I haven't seen in so long. Wrigley Field. Chicago theatre. I'm excited. I already have one job lead. I'm workin' it.

So now you're mostly caught up.

I wish I were more coherent today. More insightful. I just want to say that I've been getting wonderful feedback from readers as well as fantastic suggestions. I hear you. Please keep writing in as I take all of your suggestions to heart.

I've got all kinds of stuff marinating in my head. My goal is to continue to reflect on our experience as we're experiencing it and share it as openly as possible... while trying to understand it all at the same time.

The other night I asked Bob why does he think we're happier now than we were before. We've been talking about that a lot. And I'm working on getting to the heart of that in a specific way. We both agree that it's not just one thing. But that we are and continue to be happier than ever before.

Like this bed? Live in L.A. and want to buy it? E-mail us at: loveinthetimeofforeclosure@gmail.com



UPDATE: Apartment Therapy LA blogged about the sale. They've got tons of pictures up there. We're slowly stripping away the anonymity (or ripping it off like a band-aid) and it's a bit scary. But it is what it is.

Their post is very nice. Thanks, Apartment Therapy! Check it out:

Silver Ridge House Tour Residence Everything Goes Sale - Apartment Therapy
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