Pledge to Love

I'm in the midst of getting my book ready for publication, but I just had to take a break from writing the book to blog about this new report that was just published by the National Bureau for Economic Research.

The report, written by economists Janet Currie and Erdal Tekin, is titled:

Is the Foreclosure Crisis Making Us Sick?

The answer should come as no surprise to anyone who has been or is currently in foreclosure.

The answer is, yes. Yes. The foreclosure crisis is making us sick.

Currie and Tekin found that an increase in the number of foreclosures in a particular zip code correlates to an increase in the number of anxiety and suicide related hospital visits. A Time story on the study explains Currie and Tekin's findings:

"...for every increase of 100 foreclosures in a zip code, there’s a corresponding rise in health issues for people in the normally healthy age group of 20 to 49: an 8.1% increase in diabetes, 7.2% more ER visits and hospitalizations for hypertension, and 12% more visits to doctors related to anxiety. A rise in foreclosures was also associated with a 39% increase in trips to the hospital related to suicide attempts."

I get it. I do. But you know what?

It doesn't have to be this way.

I'll say it again.

It does not have to be this way.
 
Maybe you're in foreclosure now as you read this. You might be feeling that tightening in your chest. The stress makes it hard for you to breathe. The questions that turn like a knife in your stomach:

How will we get out of this? Where will we live? How will I provide for my family? Will we ever bounce back?

They weigh so heavily. They might be making it hard for you to get out of bed. Hard to be a normal person.

I get it. Completely.

You might be a parent to someone who is going through foreclosure. A friend. A neighbor. You're affected by it too. Especially if you're a parent. I know how hard our foreclosure was on my mom. She worried for us. So much. Wanting nothing but love, happiness and prosperity for her daughter.

You might be feeling the same way as my mom.

The most difficult aspect is the feeling that there is nothing you can do.

But, you know what? No matter how bad it is, it only feels like there's nothing you can do.

But there is something huge you can start doing now. You can take care of you. Take care of each other. Nurture yourself through this awful time. Love. Commit to rising above the hardship. Commit to turning your foreclosure story into a triumph over adversity story worthy of a Hollywood epic picture.

And this is why I invite you to take the Love in the Time of Foreclosure Pledge.

The Love in the Time of Foreclosure Pledge

I, insert your name here, pledge:

To not allow this foreclosure to get the best of me.
I will mine this financial crisis for every opportunity.
I will stay in communication with my family and friends.
I will stay in communication with the bank and my creditors.
I will learn every lesson there is to be learned from this.
I will live in the moment.
I will ask for and accept help.
I will take time every day to connect with the people in my life.
I will take time every day to do something that makes me happy.
I will empower myself to be happy without the need to spend money.
I will continue to live my life productively and responsibly.
I will acknowledge my fear and act in the face of it.
I pledge to Love. To love others, to love myself and to love my life...

...in the time of foreclosure
...in the time of hardship of any kind

This pledge made the difference for us.

We did not end up in the ER. We actually flourished as human beings. We grew closer as a married couple. We wound up living a huge adventure on a beautiful island that gave us our son. And it is all because we pledged this to each other. This pledge, that we took very seriously, got us through foreclosure and then some.

We invite you to take the pledge today.

Whether you are in foreclosure, facing foreclosure or just fearing foreclosure.

In fact, it can be applied to any kind of crisis or hardship.

We invite you to please take the pledge and declare it here in the comments below.

Making it public does make a difference. Don't keep this to yourself. I know the inclination is to hide your problems. But that doesn't work. That only makes you feel more isolated.

The more public you make your pledge, the more likely you are to keep it. Share it on your Facebook page. Share it in conversation with your friends and family. Just share it.

And please pass it along. Let's make an impact here. Let's end this cycle of foreclosure-related sickness. Let's make this a movement. 

We can make a difference. For anyone feeling alone in their financial problems. Ashamed. Fearful. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Please take this pledge and join us in creating your own triumph over adversity story.

Okay, I think you get where I stand.

Now it's your turn.

Declare your pledge below in the comment section. It can be as simple as this:

I, Steph Walker, pledge to love in the time of foreclosure.

Or even more simple: I pledge to love!

If you're as passionate about this as I am, please help spread this love. Send it to anyone you know who is in financial distress. Anyone who is facing hardship in their lives. Please invite them to join you in taking the pledge.

Together we can make a difference!

the goals we carry in our wallets

"As long as we have hope, we have direction, the energy to move and the map to move by, we have a hundred alternatives, a thousand paths and an infinity of dreams." - author unknown

This is the quote that welcomed me into the online "Pre-Discharge Bankruptcy Class" called Money In Motion. I scoffed at first. Because it was 6PM on a Sunday and I really, really did not want to take a 2-hour online course that would just remind me of how much a failure I am financially. So, yes, I scoffed. At first.

Then I realized that that quote is just another way of saying what I've been saying all along... happiness has nothing to do with the circumstances. I have hope. Like our President. I hope. But hope alone doesn't inspire change. It must be backed up by action. This pre-discharge bankruptcy class is one action.

Here I am facing my computer on a Sunday evening because something clearly needs to change. This online course isn't a reflection or a reminder of my failure. It's feedback. It's acknowledgment that I need a little help to change. A change in thinking. New tools.

So I make the choice to dive in and read everything in this 2-hour online course. I won't skim. I'll really read it and even take notes. Because I'm here for a reason, after all.

The first thing this Money In Motion course addresses is GOALS. Goals are the basis for any budget, it tells me. Your goals should be flexible and specific. It asks me to write down three goals on an index card. One short term, one mid term and one long term goal.

My pen hovers over the index card.

I write "My Goals" at the top.

Then think. Hmmmm.... why is this so hard?

For an entire year I have been training myself to NOT want anything, that's why. I've been training myself to avoid magazines, zappos.com, stores of any kind. I've been re-conditioning myself to be able to walk into a store and walk out feeling BETTER about having NOT bought something than having spent money just to spend money. I've been learning how to be creative and "shop my closet" as a way to find new outfits and combinations of clothes I've never tried before. New clothes without spending a dime. Trading. Selling and buying used. Wanting less. Wanting nothing except what I have and being grateful. Satisfied. And I am.

Thankfully. Gratefully.

So this is hard. I'm finding it hard to write something on the card. Something that doesn't feel completely arbitrary or simply "pie-in-the-sky." But Money In Motion (MIM) is telling me to. Is saying: GOALS ARE THE BASIS FOR ANY BUDGET. They must be specific & flexible. Okay, so they can change. Fine.

Okay, a new pair running shoes. I actually do need those. Mine are old and worn through and given my propensity towards injuries, running on old shoes is a very bad idea. So that one's easy.

Next one has to be between $500 and $2000. Harder. Even when we do earn money, we don't want to just spend it on things. But experiences. The goal: acquire experiences, not things. Remember? Right. So... well, why not? A vacation. A romantic vacation. A fabulous vacation. I can commit to that goal. At the present the only vacation we have on the books is a one night camping trip to Lake Geneva, WI where we were married 6 years ago. We haven't been back since. So... I write it down. A fabulous vacation with Bob.

Third goal. More than $5,000. Well, since our goal is to spend nothing acquiring furniture for the house on the island I'm not going to write down furniture. What else? Savings. That counts, right? Why not go large. $10,000 in savings. The idea of saving is much sexier to me now than a new car or even a new wardrobe. So savings it is.

MIM suggests I carry my goal card in my wallet where I can see it each time I go to spend money on something. And I haven't done that yet. Why? I don't know. Perhaps I'm still relating to it as "pie in the sky." Or perhaps I'm avoiding something. That's more likely. Avoiding being limited? Perhaps.

So, guess what. I'm doing it now. Right now. Putting the goal card in my wallet. Done. It's now there. My reminder. A little gift from MIM.

I have a challenge for you.

Grab an index card and write down 3 goals. 0-$500, $500-$2,000 and over $5,000. What are yours? I think we can learn from each other. Once you've written your goals, take a picture, upload it & post the link in the comment section. Or... just write them out in the comments if you don't want to go thru the whole taking the pic and uploading it business.

Either way you can join in. I just want to know, what goals would you carry in your wallet?