Houseless not Homeless

A View from the Road: This is a picture of Spotted Wolf Canyon on I70 in Utah about 60 miles West of the Colorado border.

Good morning from Grand Junction, Colorado!

We rolled into town yesterday at about 5 PM (we're on Mountain Time now.)

Ah, there's so much to say. I don't know how to do it in just one post. So maybe I'll write several.

Okay, first of all... I think I will begin with the actual closing day. That was Tuesday. Two days ago. At 3:30 PM as we were driving East on the 210, we got a text from our Realtor that the sale of our house had finally recorded. It was done.

The day began in a frenzy as was expected. I was operating on 3 hours of sleep. But we had to get out of the house, so sleep was secondary. If you saw the last post, you saw the junkyard that was our driveway in the middle of the night. Well, we really didn't want to leave that for the new owners so we called 1-800-Gotjunk to haul it away. It cost us $300 to do that. It's really not fun to pay to get rid of junk, but when you're looking at a matter of hours to get rid of it, you do what you can.

Slowly the money we made on our Estate sale was disappearing. Shipping a few boxes here, a few more there. Paying $300 to have our junk hauled away. Shipping yet more boxes as we realize they won't fit in the car... in total we spent about $1,700 on this move (not including gas money to get us to Illinois.) So that $1,500 from the Making Home Affordable plan would really come in handy right about now. But I've given up on that. All there is now is looking forward.

We finally pulled out of our driveway at about 2:30 PM. I think. I didn't check the clock, I'm just estimating. It was hot. We were sweaty. Gross. Ready to be done. I had this experience of feeling too tired to even be sad. The move had taken so much out of us that we were just ready to get the hell out!

As we drove away it felt sort of anti-climactic. All this work and here we are. Driving away. I thought I'd cry tears of relief. We avoided foreclosure! Success! A celebration, right? Of course we're relieved about that. I actually acknowledged it to Bob as we were battling traffic on the 210. "Hey," I said with the little energy I could muster, "We avoided foreclosure. High five." And I held up my hand and Bob touched it. High five. It was pretty lackluster. There was no whoop of victory. Just an acknowledgement. I guess I had expected to feel anything ranging from euphoria to despair, but more than anything what I felt was peace.

And when the tears snuck up on me as we were passing Fontana, they weren't because we were leaving the house, but our community. We will miss you greatly, L.A. We will miss you more, friends. We love you.

So we are without a house. No longer homeowners. We've lifted the anchor and are setting out into the open sea. Uncharted waters. Making it up as we go. For now.

The interesting thing is this, I feel at home right here. No, not here as in Grand Junction. Here as in my own skin next to Bob. The two of us setting out together like this. We are headed to the town where I grew up. To my family... where we will feel home. If feeling at home is nothing more than a feeling, then you don't really need a piece of land to feel that way. Make sense? Yes, I know the cliche "Home is where the heart lies." I guess this is that.

So you can be houseless but not homeless. We are vagabonds. Wanderers. Transients. Well, I guess the distinction is that we are employed vagabonds, transients and wanderers (and grateful for that distinction!) Anyway, all of this is to say that it feels good. And weird. All at once. We are living what I once thought would be the worst case scenario and we're embracing it. It's not nearly as bad as we thought it would be. It's not bad at all. We're actually excited. Liberated. And how perfect that Saturday is our nation's Independence Day.

I told Bob yesterday that I kind of felt like a kid again. Is this how starting over always feels? I guess we finally found the 'reset' button.

A RECAP OF THE LAST TWO DAYS

TUESDAY: Departed L.A. and drove as far as Vegas. Saw a drug deal in the parking lot of the Motel 6 on Tropicana, quickly pulled out of the parking lot and looked for a, well, less seedy place to stay. Finally found a dog-friendly and decent accommodation at La Quinta Inn for $69 (didn't get much sleep as the people across the hall left their dog alone in the room all night while they went out gambling. Poor dog barked all night.) Highest temp: 111 degrees

WEDNESDAY: Drove north and east to cooler climates through Nevada, Arizona, Utah and stopped just over the border in Grand Junction, Colorado. We found a dog-friendly hotel on Main Street downtown called the Hawthorn Suites. $99 a night. But worth the extra money because we actually slept. Didn't see even one drug deal. And we have working wifi in the room so I can blog and Bob can work. We'll be here until we have to check out. Which is, ah, in only one hour! (no time to edit this post because I still have to shower- yikes!)

Last night we took Pablo for a walk down Main Street and ended up at a little pizza place with outdoor seating for a glass of wine and some grub. The place was appropriately called Pablo's Pizza, and yes, he acted like he owned the joint. While waiting for our pie, we paged through the local paper and came across this fascinating story about a Grand Junction native who spent the entire winter on his raft exploring Lake Powell with his dog Pepper.

There truly are all sorts of ways to live a life. Here's one:

GJ man spends winter rafting, exploring Lake Powell - Grand Junction Free Press

And this is a chalk drawing on the sidewalk across from our hotel. It's a little hard to make out, but it just seemed fitting since we are reinventing the American Dream for ourselves.

So how are you guys? What's up? Have you been following us on Twitter? I've been pretty chatty there from the road.

Oh- does anyone have any good road trip game suggestions?

Next stop: Denver! (It feels great to be back in Colorado after soooooo long! We can breathe. Fresh mountain air.)

The Last Night (I can't wait to have nothing!)

This is a picture of all of our receipts from the big Estate Sale. Receipts and an empty room (almost empty.) It feels good now. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel...

It’s 1:05 AM on Tuesday, June 30th. Closing day. The day we have to turn in our keys. Also, moving day. Driving cross-country day. I'm quite exhausted. So please forgive the randomness of this post. I just want to get it out.

Bob is asleep and I am gutting it out as long as possible. Trying to get us out of here by 11 AM.

How do I feel?

Over it. So many things at once. My feet ache so much from being on them all day. I got up at 6 and haven’t stopped except for the few minutes I took to cry on the kitchen floor. The crying came at a point of pure exhaustion and utter despair. We have been getting rid of stuff for the last three weeks and we’re still not done! Oh. My. Freaking God! At about 5 PM today I just gave in.

“I can’t do it. I can’t. I just can’t!” I cried to Bob.

“I know,” he said.

“We’ll never be done. Never. And we’re all alone!” I wailed a bit there. Then I said, “This is the worst day of my entire--,” I stopped myself. I knew what was about to come out of my mouth was far from true. A smile made it’s way onto my face. Acknowledging the absurdity of that statement. I looked at Bob through my salty tears. He was smiling at me. In that way. As if to say, “Really? The worst day?”

So I said it first, “Well, not really… but it feels that way. I know it’s not the worst. But it FEELS like the worst and definitely the longest.”

So. Here we are now. Bob asleep and me sitting here trying to capture the moment. I wanted to do a video blog but can’t figure it out. And I don’t have an internet connection. So I won’t be posting this until much later when Starbuck’s opens.

Bob’s plan is to get up at 4:30 AM (!) to go to Starbuck’s (where, again, they have a working internet connection) to work. My plan is to get rid of more stuff, pack more stuff and not sleep until it’s all done. Then I am calling 1-800-Gotjunk. I tried to book an appointment online, but… well, we’ve been over this. No connection.

Our driveway is a junkyard. See:




It’s hilariously obnoxious, don't you think? We just keep putting stuff out. Some of it went fast. Neighbors walking by, find gems in our junk. The whole one person's junk is another's treasure cliche. Honestly, I feel like a broken record but I am amazed at how much stuff we had that we didn’t even know we had. The stuff reproduces faster than gremlins somehow. It’s not a fair fight. I don’t know how it happens and I never want to go through this again. I never want stuff again!

I’m backing up a little. Back to my crying fit on the kitchen floor. Back to the moment I said, "And we're all alone!"

That has not been true through this entire process. We have been SURROUNDED by people supporting us and helping us every step of the way. I was just being dramatic. Venting. And once I got it out, who did I call but our friends. I called to say that we couldn’t go to their house for our goodbye dinner because we had too much to do and I’m having a nervous breakdown. Not 20 minutes later, 7 of our friends were here to help us and feed us! They rescued us. Our friends literally came to our rescue! You guys, we are so moved and RELIEVED by your support. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We have not been alone for a minute through this because of you. And because of the LITTOF readers. I'm not kidding. I feel you pulling for us.

Okay, back to the present. I smell pretty bad. Too much information? Well it's pretty late and I do. I’m a total disaster. My nose is all chapped from blowing it so much- from my cold and from crying. Speaking of crying, one of my friends looked at me and asked what was wrong with my glasses.

“Oh, those are tears.” I hadn't noticed them until I went to the bathroom and you could see a big salty streak across the right lens.

She called them projectile tears. And laughed. I guess it was ridiculous. I hadn’t even bothered to wipe them clean. “Oh, Stephanie,” said another friend, “Please let me clean those for you.” And he did. Which was a good thing. I could see better and I didn’t look so ridiculous after that.

Okay. The sunset was absolutely gorgeous tonight. Here are a couple of pictures. Our last sunset:





What now?

Back to work… while I have the energy. And tomorrow we hope to be on the road by 11. I will continue to blog along the way so please check for updates.

You can get LIVE updates on Twitter. I plan to be quite active there as long as I’m not driving.

L.A. to Denver
Denver to Humbolt, Iowa (Bob’s hometown)
Humbolt, Iowa to Barrington, IL (to our new temporary home in my mom and stepdad’s basement)

Then...? Something very exciting. Our next adventure. A blank slate. Nothingness. A beautiful thing.