Leaving stuff behind

Wednesdays my mom comes into the city to take care of Malcolm so that I can get some writing done. She gets quality alone time with Malcolm and I get quality alone time with myself. It's a win-win.

Last Wednesday I was at Dolce Casa (my local cafe) writing when I was approached by a stranger.

"Can I ask you something," this young woman began, "I just need an unbiased opinion."

"Shoot," I said. Well, not really. I probably said, "Of Course." Or more likely, "Sure."

"If someone leaves their belongings behind after a move, how long before they are considered abandoned?"

Hmmm.... sounds like an interesting story. We dug in. Turns out she had an issue with a former roommate who had left a bunch of junk behind after moving out. This woman in the cafe had called and e-mailed her former roommate to find out where to send the stuff, but never heard back. For two months. Until last Wednesday. After two months, the former roommate e-mailed to ask about her stuff.

The problem? Well, this woman in the cafe had just moved out of the apartment herself. She didn't know what happened to this person's stuff because she left it behind. It wasn't hers to move.

This got me going. I have no tolerance for this sort of behavior. Let's face it. Moving is no picnic. And in some circumstances it can be utter Hell on earth.

So, yes, I know how tempting it is to just leave crap behind for someone else to deal with. I know how tempting it is to just walk away. But it's just bad form. It's inconsiderate. Your stuff left behind always becomes someone else's problem. Whether it's the new owners or the landlord... someone else has to deal with it.

The night before we had to be out of our house, we had a whole driveway full of our crap. We tried to sell and give away as much as possible. But time just ran out on us. So, we paid to have it hauled away so that the new owners wouldn't have to when they moved in. Why? Because. Call it good form. Good Karma. Either way...

While it's good to let go of your crap, it's never good to leave it for someone else to clean up. 

But I'm preaching to the choir here, aren't I?

The Last Night (I can't wait to have nothing!)

This is a picture of all of our receipts from the big Estate Sale. Receipts and an empty room (almost empty.) It feels good now. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel...

It’s 1:05 AM on Tuesday, June 30th. Closing day. The day we have to turn in our keys. Also, moving day. Driving cross-country day. I'm quite exhausted. So please forgive the randomness of this post. I just want to get it out.

Bob is asleep and I am gutting it out as long as possible. Trying to get us out of here by 11 AM.

How do I feel?

Over it. So many things at once. My feet ache so much from being on them all day. I got up at 6 and haven’t stopped except for the few minutes I took to cry on the kitchen floor. The crying came at a point of pure exhaustion and utter despair. We have been getting rid of stuff for the last three weeks and we’re still not done! Oh. My. Freaking God! At about 5 PM today I just gave in.

“I can’t do it. I can’t. I just can’t!” I cried to Bob.

“I know,” he said.

“We’ll never be done. Never. And we’re all alone!” I wailed a bit there. Then I said, “This is the worst day of my entire--,” I stopped myself. I knew what was about to come out of my mouth was far from true. A smile made it’s way onto my face. Acknowledging the absurdity of that statement. I looked at Bob through my salty tears. He was smiling at me. In that way. As if to say, “Really? The worst day?”

So I said it first, “Well, not really… but it feels that way. I know it’s not the worst. But it FEELS like the worst and definitely the longest.”

So. Here we are now. Bob asleep and me sitting here trying to capture the moment. I wanted to do a video blog but can’t figure it out. And I don’t have an internet connection. So I won’t be posting this until much later when Starbuck’s opens.

Bob’s plan is to get up at 4:30 AM (!) to go to Starbuck’s (where, again, they have a working internet connection) to work. My plan is to get rid of more stuff, pack more stuff and not sleep until it’s all done. Then I am calling 1-800-Gotjunk. I tried to book an appointment online, but… well, we’ve been over this. No connection.

Our driveway is a junkyard. See:




It’s hilariously obnoxious, don't you think? We just keep putting stuff out. Some of it went fast. Neighbors walking by, find gems in our junk. The whole one person's junk is another's treasure cliche. Honestly, I feel like a broken record but I am amazed at how much stuff we had that we didn’t even know we had. The stuff reproduces faster than gremlins somehow. It’s not a fair fight. I don’t know how it happens and I never want to go through this again. I never want stuff again!

I’m backing up a little. Back to my crying fit on the kitchen floor. Back to the moment I said, "And we're all alone!"

That has not been true through this entire process. We have been SURROUNDED by people supporting us and helping us every step of the way. I was just being dramatic. Venting. And once I got it out, who did I call but our friends. I called to say that we couldn’t go to their house for our goodbye dinner because we had too much to do and I’m having a nervous breakdown. Not 20 minutes later, 7 of our friends were here to help us and feed us! They rescued us. Our friends literally came to our rescue! You guys, we are so moved and RELIEVED by your support. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We have not been alone for a minute through this because of you. And because of the LITTOF readers. I'm not kidding. I feel you pulling for us.

Okay, back to the present. I smell pretty bad. Too much information? Well it's pretty late and I do. I’m a total disaster. My nose is all chapped from blowing it so much- from my cold and from crying. Speaking of crying, one of my friends looked at me and asked what was wrong with my glasses.

“Oh, those are tears.” I hadn't noticed them until I went to the bathroom and you could see a big salty streak across the right lens.

She called them projectile tears. And laughed. I guess it was ridiculous. I hadn’t even bothered to wipe them clean. “Oh, Stephanie,” said another friend, “Please let me clean those for you.” And he did. Which was a good thing. I could see better and I didn’t look so ridiculous after that.

Okay. The sunset was absolutely gorgeous tonight. Here are a couple of pictures. Our last sunset:





What now?

Back to work… while I have the energy. And tomorrow we hope to be on the road by 11. I will continue to blog along the way so please check for updates.

You can get LIVE updates on Twitter. I plan to be quite active there as long as I’m not driving.

L.A. to Denver
Denver to Humbolt, Iowa (Bob’s hometown)
Humbolt, Iowa to Barrington, IL (to our new temporary home in my mom and stepdad’s basement)

Then...? Something very exciting. Our next adventure. A blank slate. Nothingness. A beautiful thing.