Dear LITTOF...

One of the things that was so helpful to me in writing LITTOF when we were going through everything was hearing similar stories from readers.

Every time someone shared their parallel story with me it made me realize more and more how we weren't alone. Not that I wished these circumstances on anyone but knowing that someone out there could relate to our struggle made it so much easier.

It also put things in perspective.... helping to put a stop to any potential pity party. One thing was increasingly clear and still is. We aren't alone.

I received another e-mail like this today that I thought I would share and respond to publicly.

Hey there!

I am so happy to get your email and see that you will be addressing this topic again. My husband and I have two small children (9 months and 2 1/2 years old) and we began our modification/shortsale/foreclosure (what ever it is going to be) when I was pregnant with our first baby.

We saw the train coming but couldn't dodge it. The Bank wouldn't talk to us until we missed payments and got behind. We played their game, sent all the docs again and again and again.

Got several Modification offers that were ridiculous and didn't help at all. More countless, crazy, no-resolution hours on the phone with the bank than you can imagine....no, I'm sure you CAN imagine!

Well, anyway, right before the bank was to sell, they decided to do a mod trial with HAMP. After 10 months of that and escalation to the corporate resolution team, we were finally told we didn't qualify. Hmmmm.

Well, now we are in contract to short sale our home but who know if they will accept the offer. We may end up in foreclosure and then bankruptcy like you. It's all going to take time to tell.

Meanwhile, we love our home that we have remodeled and made our own. But it is just brick and mortar. We are excited about our future and the lessons we have learned, that we have each other. We consider it the price to pay for this painful education we have received.

BTW, we are following Dave Ramsey's principles to get out of debt and change our legacy. Another podcast I like is: www.reboundpodcast.com A couple emerging from foreclosure too and their very candid experiences along the way. Well, I look forward to seeing your new blog. Where shall I look? Or, will it pop up in my email? Good luck. -Laurie

Dear Laurie,

First of all... I cannot imagine facing foreclosure through not one but two pregnancies! You've been going through this for almost three years now, yes? That's just mind boggling. Yet, it's a reality. Your reality. So, congratulations for maintaining such an amazing attitude in the face of so much unknown.

HAMP. I'm sorry to hear yet another failure in regards to HAMP. I would love to hear from someone that this program actually helped. HAMP was first introduced when we were negotiating our short sale contract and we had such high hopes for it.

LOVE FOR HOME. Oh boy, I can relate. We still miss our house. We still fantasize about it. And we're clear that by now we have totally romanticized it... completely ignoring the flaws and things that drove us crazy (like lack of storage, for example.) Anyway, you are right that it's just bricks and mortar. That's what we kept reminding each other. Home can be created wherever you are. Bob said something to me just before we had to be out of our house that I recently re-read. He said:

"Wherever we go, we'll improve."

That perspective offered me so much comfort. At the time we didn't know where we would be living, but we had confidence that no matter where it was we would make sure to be better. I hope that offers comfort to you as well.

PAINFUL EDUCATION. This phrase you use really struck me. It's so true, isn't it? It is an education. All of it. Especially if you choose to view it that way. And it can be certainly painful. It sounds like in the face of that pain you've created boundless moments of joy as well. I wholeheartedly believe in that. You have each other, as you said, and your two children. And now you're prepared for anything.

SHORT SALE. Well, if you've followed the blog you'll know that we managed to sell the house in a short sale, thereby avoiding foreclosure. I hope the bank does accept your offer and that it all works out. But if not, keep at it. We had one short sale offer totally fall apart before the one the bank accepted.

DAVE RAMSEY. I need to read his book already. So many people have told me to look into him and the difference he makes for people in debt. I'll definitely check it out.

REBOUND PODCAST. Thanks for pointing me in their direction. I can't believe I haven't heard about them yet. I'll definitely be listening.

THE NEW BLOG. You ask where you can find the new blog. Well, right here! At Loveinthetimeofforeclosure.com. And if you received my last post as an e-mail, that means that you're on the e-mail list and you'll keep receiving them every time I post. Thanks for asking!

Good luck to you, Laurie. And thank you so much for reaching out. Thank you for allowing me to publicly share your e-mail. Keep us posted!

Best,

Steph

13 Personal Money Management Tips From LITTOF Readers

It’s been one week since my “B is for…” post where I wrote about the fact that Bob & I have filed for bankruptcy. I also asked for tips from readers on how you manage your money. I have loved reading your comments and getting your suggestions and thought I’d put them into a post because I have a feeling that the comments sometimes get overlooked. And there are some gems here. I found them to be on the whole practical, exciting, charming, specific, unusual and thought-provoking.

I'm not posting all of the comments in their entirety as some reiterate previous tips. (If you'd like to read all the comments as posted by readers, you can do that here.)

Without further ado, here are YOUR tips around making personal finance management easy (easier):

1. General Budget & Finance Check –
I stick to a general budget. I have a rough idea of how much I want to save each month, knowing that things happen and it's not always possible. I do a "finance" check once every month to see what I'm spending on. It hasn't changed much over the past couple years so I'm not as uptight as I used to be :) – Kim

2. Cash Envelope System—
We write out a budget each month, all of our expenses are listed with amounts and we calculate our income for the month. We have $$ budgeted for food/household/hygiene and that amount is set aside in cash at the beginning of the month. I can go over budget in this category so I use the cash envelope system and divide the cash into weekly amounts. Once the $ for that week is spent then that’s it – no borrowing from the next week or using a credit card. It’s made me make smarter decisions knowing I have limited amount of cash for the week – and since spending cash hurts more than a credit card, cash has helped me to carefully consider my purchases. -Holly (Anchorage, Alaska)


3. The RUDE little Post-It Note–
I give myself an allowance every week and when the credit card bill looks like its going over my self-imposed limit I put a post-it on the card with some rude little comment to myself to remind me to rethink my purchase. -mri

4. Dave Ramsey, Dave Ramsey, Dave Ramsey!
My Hub and I follow Dave Ramsey, my in-laws follow him, my sister Lindsey and her Hub follow him, and some of my friends as well. He knows his stuff and he obviously comes highly recommended from MANY people. By following his ideas last year we paid off 5 of our bills and we hope to add more to that this year. –Maxson trio

5. Detailed Budgeting & Quicken-
I have a very detailed budget, but often find myself overspending in some categories (usually in the "household" category!). I track all my money with Quicken. I've been using it since like '97. Seeing WHERE your money goes makes it really easy to change your ways and stop spending as foolishly. I'm also big on electronic banking and automatic payments. Make life simple, and make your money work for you. - Jessica

6. Write it down!-
I write down everything I spend on a spreadsheet and do a monthly spending plan balancing what's coming in and going out. If it comes up short, I cut entertainment, clothes and eating out OR see if there is a way to generate more income. I give very modest gifts for birthdays and things like that.

Also, I do not have an open active credit card. You won’t believe how careful you are with your cash when you have no "emergency" card. Because there is ALWAYS an emergency - like gas or food. That has been the single best thing I have done. And yes, I have huge student loans and all sorts of things but I have never gone hungry and I have never been homeless. The peace of mind is the reward for not spending more than you earn. It's priceless. - Anonymous

7. The power of the mind-
Poverty is in the MIND. Wealth is in the MIND. Many people would pay all they had to have a great partner in life. You are rich, keep that in your mind and soon the outside will reflect the inside. - Anonymous

8. Mint.com-
I forget where I heard about it, but I've been using mint.com as a way to keep track of our spending, credit cards, loans, etc. It's not perfect, but it definitely helps me visualize what we're spending too much on, where we can save more, etc. And, it also allows you to create individual budgets, too. - Nicole

9. Nausea As a Repellent-
We don't set a budget, but I get nauseated when I spend money (thanks for the money issues, Dad!) so that's a decent de facto system. -Marta

10. Cut Out the Booze-
My advice for anyone who wants to save money is to cut out alcohol. While I am not a big drinker so this is easy for me, my husband and I estimate that we save several hundred a month by not drinking (as compared to our peers). It’s worth every penny. -Megan

11. Monthly Check-In & Hide Your Cash-
I use Quicken to track household finances. I used to use a cash envelope system, but my apartment was robbed during that time. As it turns out, renters' insurance doesn't cover cash at all! I'd recommend a debit card and Quicken as a great way to go. As someone else noticed, spending habits are fairly consistent over time, so monthly check-in is probably all you need after you get a handle on things. - Suzanne

12. The Colorful Money Jar-
Since I moved to Australia, I don't qualify with my visa status for an Aussie credit card, so I live an all cash life. I have auto payments set up for rent and utilities, then I take out a set amount on Sunday from the ATM and it is what I get to spend during the week. Anything left over gets put in my money jar, which I keep in the kitchen. If I run out early, I can take from the money jar but not from my bank account. The weekly allowance is generally more than I need for a normal week, so the jar fills up with brightly colored Aussie money (pink! purple!) and once several hundred has accrued, I take a long weekend visiting some part of the country I haven't visited yet. -Abby

13. Streamline Your Budget!
I recommend a ruthless streamlining of your budget every couple of months, till you're convinced you are where you want to be. The tool that helped us the most was to keep a spreadsheet of our categories of spending the money that was left over after bills (eating out, movies, post office, coffee, parking fees, hair/beauty, clothes/shoes, etc.). It was shocking in some cases to see how the actual dollar amount was nowhere near our general sense of what we were spending in a particular category. - Crystal

Thank you for sharing your tips, what works and what doesn't work. I'm learning so much through this process!

If you have a tip you have yet to share, what are you waiting for? Go ahead and comment below. I'll be reading.

Thanks!
-Stephanie