Every time someone shared their parallel story with me it made me realize more and more how we weren't alone. Not that I wished these circumstances on anyone but knowing that someone out there could relate to our struggle made it so much easier.
It also put things in perspective.... helping to put a stop to any potential pity party. One thing was increasingly clear and still is. We aren't alone.
I received another e-mail like this today that I thought I would share and respond to publicly.
Hey there!I am so happy to get your email and see that you will be addressing this topic again. My husband and I have two small children (9 months and 2 1/2 years old) and we began our modification/shortsale/
foreclosure (what ever it is going to be) when I was pregnant with our first baby.
We saw the train coming but couldn't dodge it. The Bank wouldn't talk to us until we missed payments and got behind. We played their game, sent all the docs again and again and again.
Got several Modification offers that were ridiculous and didn't help at all. More countless, crazy, no-resolution hours on the phone with the bank than you can imagine....no, I'm sure you CAN imagine!
Well, anyway, right before the bank was to sell, they decided to do a mod trial with HAMP. After 10 months of that and escalation to the corporate resolution team, we were finally told we didn't qualify. Hmmmm.
Well, now we are in contract to short sale our home but who know if they will accept the offer. We may end up in foreclosure and then bankruptcy like you. It's all going to take time to tell.
Meanwhile, we love our home that we have remodeled and made our own. But it is just brick and mortar. We are excited about our future and the lessons we have learned, that we have each other. We consider it the price to pay for this painful education we have received.
BTW, we are following Dave Ramsey's principles to get out of debt and change our legacy. Another podcast I like is: www.reboundpodcast.com A couple emerging from foreclosure too and their very candid experiences along the way. Well, I look forward to seeing your new blog. Where shall I look? Or, will it pop up in my email? Good luck. -Laurie
First of all... I cannot imagine facing foreclosure through not one but two pregnancies! You've been going through this for almost three years now, yes? That's just mind boggling. Yet, it's a reality. Your reality. So, congratulations for maintaining such an amazing attitude in the face of so much unknown.
HAMP. I'm sorry to hear yet another failure in regards to HAMP. I would love to hear from someone that this program actually helped. HAMP was first introduced when we were negotiating our short sale contract and we had such high hopes for it.
LOVE FOR HOME. Oh boy, I can relate. We still miss our house. We still fantasize about it. And we're clear that by now we have totally romanticized it... completely ignoring the flaws and things that drove us crazy (like lack of storage, for example.) Anyway, you are right that it's just bricks and mortar. That's what we kept reminding each other. Home can be created wherever you are. Bob said something to me just before we had to be out of our house that I recently re-read. He said:
"Wherever we go, we'll improve."
That perspective offered me so much comfort. At the time we didn't know where we would be living, but we had confidence that no matter where it was we would make sure to be better. I hope that offers comfort to you as well.
PAINFUL EDUCATION. This phrase you use really struck me. It's so true, isn't it? It is an education. All of it. Especially if you choose to view it that way. And it can be certainly painful. It sounds like in the face of that pain you've created boundless moments of joy as well. I wholeheartedly believe in that. You have each other, as you said, and your two children. And now you're prepared for anything.
SHORT SALE. Well, if you've followed the blog you'll know that we managed to sell the house in a short sale, thereby avoiding foreclosure. I hope the bank does accept your offer and that it all works out. But if not, keep at it. We had one short sale offer totally fall apart before the one the bank accepted.
DAVE RAMSEY. I need to read his book already. So many people have told me to look into him and the difference he makes for people in debt. I'll definitely check it out.
REBOUND PODCAST. Thanks for pointing me in their direction. I can't believe I haven't heard about them yet. I'll definitely be listening.
THE NEW BLOG. You ask where you can find the new blog. Well, right here! At Loveinthetimeofforeclosure.com. And if you received my last post as an e-mail, that means that you're on the e-mail list and you'll keep receiving them every time I post. Thanks for asking!
Good luck to you, Laurie. And thank you so much for reaching out. Thank you for allowing me to publicly share your e-mail. Keep us posted!