Dear LITTOF...

One of the things that was so helpful to me in writing LITTOF when we were going through everything was hearing similar stories from readers.

Every time someone shared their parallel story with me it made me realize more and more how we weren't alone. Not that I wished these circumstances on anyone but knowing that someone out there could relate to our struggle made it so much easier.

It also put things in perspective.... helping to put a stop to any potential pity party. One thing was increasingly clear and still is. We aren't alone.

I received another e-mail like this today that I thought I would share and respond to publicly.

Hey there!

I am so happy to get your email and see that you will be addressing this topic again. My husband and I have two small children (9 months and 2 1/2 years old) and we began our modification/shortsale/foreclosure (what ever it is going to be) when I was pregnant with our first baby.

We saw the train coming but couldn't dodge it. The Bank wouldn't talk to us until we missed payments and got behind. We played their game, sent all the docs again and again and again.

Got several Modification offers that were ridiculous and didn't help at all. More countless, crazy, no-resolution hours on the phone with the bank than you can imagine....no, I'm sure you CAN imagine!

Well, anyway, right before the bank was to sell, they decided to do a mod trial with HAMP. After 10 months of that and escalation to the corporate resolution team, we were finally told we didn't qualify. Hmmmm.

Well, now we are in contract to short sale our home but who know if they will accept the offer. We may end up in foreclosure and then bankruptcy like you. It's all going to take time to tell.

Meanwhile, we love our home that we have remodeled and made our own. But it is just brick and mortar. We are excited about our future and the lessons we have learned, that we have each other. We consider it the price to pay for this painful education we have received.

BTW, we are following Dave Ramsey's principles to get out of debt and change our legacy. Another podcast I like is: www.reboundpodcast.com A couple emerging from foreclosure too and their very candid experiences along the way. Well, I look forward to seeing your new blog. Where shall I look? Or, will it pop up in my email? Good luck. -Laurie

Dear Laurie,

First of all... I cannot imagine facing foreclosure through not one but two pregnancies! You've been going through this for almost three years now, yes? That's just mind boggling. Yet, it's a reality. Your reality. So, congratulations for maintaining such an amazing attitude in the face of so much unknown.

HAMP. I'm sorry to hear yet another failure in regards to HAMP. I would love to hear from someone that this program actually helped. HAMP was first introduced when we were negotiating our short sale contract and we had such high hopes for it.

LOVE FOR HOME. Oh boy, I can relate. We still miss our house. We still fantasize about it. And we're clear that by now we have totally romanticized it... completely ignoring the flaws and things that drove us crazy (like lack of storage, for example.) Anyway, you are right that it's just bricks and mortar. That's what we kept reminding each other. Home can be created wherever you are. Bob said something to me just before we had to be out of our house that I recently re-read. He said:

"Wherever we go, we'll improve."

That perspective offered me so much comfort. At the time we didn't know where we would be living, but we had confidence that no matter where it was we would make sure to be better. I hope that offers comfort to you as well.

PAINFUL EDUCATION. This phrase you use really struck me. It's so true, isn't it? It is an education. All of it. Especially if you choose to view it that way. And it can be certainly painful. It sounds like in the face of that pain you've created boundless moments of joy as well. I wholeheartedly believe in that. You have each other, as you said, and your two children. And now you're prepared for anything.

SHORT SALE. Well, if you've followed the blog you'll know that we managed to sell the house in a short sale, thereby avoiding foreclosure. I hope the bank does accept your offer and that it all works out. But if not, keep at it. We had one short sale offer totally fall apart before the one the bank accepted.

DAVE RAMSEY. I need to read his book already. So many people have told me to look into him and the difference he makes for people in debt. I'll definitely check it out.

REBOUND PODCAST. Thanks for pointing me in their direction. I can't believe I haven't heard about them yet. I'll definitely be listening.

THE NEW BLOG. You ask where you can find the new blog. Well, right here! At Loveinthetimeofforeclosure.com. And if you received my last post as an e-mail, that means that you're on the e-mail list and you'll keep receiving them every time I post. Thanks for asking!

Good luck to you, Laurie. And thank you so much for reaching out. Thank you for allowing me to publicly share your e-mail. Keep us posted!

Best,

Steph

No Bull, No Baloney... Just Getting it Done

After rebounding from my darkest moment in this entire experience I am very happy to report that THINGS ARE LOOKING UP!

How? Why? What's going on?

Well, I'll tell you.

It all began on Tuesday morning when Bob declared this week a "Bull---- Free Week." As in, no baloney. No messing around. Just getting it done. Making it happen. Turning it all around. It was a powerful declaration and I got on board.

With a foreclosure looming on the horizon and no word from the short sale negotiator, I decided to call Countrywide and request a Postponement of the Foreclosure. That was an interesting/frustrating couple of hours. I actually "tweeted" (yes, Littof is on Twitter! Follow us) in real time while I was on the phone. If anyone is interested in what that looks like, here's a screen shot of my tweets from Tuesday. Click on the image to enlarge, then read bottom up to get the progression:



The bottom-line is that I was given the run-around (per usual) for a while until I was told by someone in the short sale department that they had no record of our offer, our file was closed and they wouldn't be able to postpone the foreclosure.

No record of the offer?! We submitted it weeks ago! What the hell?!

I e-mailed our Realtor that has been handling the negotiations with our lenders and expressed my utter confusion and frustration. She sent me our negotiator's phone number and said I could try to call him but that she'd been leaving him messages and hadn't heard back. I did call him and I left a message asking him to get in touch with me as I'm worried and had questions. I tried to sound sweet and not like the crazed banshee that was raging inside.

About an hour later, our Realtor called with our negotiator on the line. The negotiator said he was looking at the offer and not to worry, he could have it approved by Wednesday evening.

"See? There's nothing to worry about," said our Realtor. I know, but I won't rest until this deal is done and the foreclosure is off my back, I told her. She said she understood completely.

She was right, though. Because Wednesday morning it was approved. Phew! Finally!

Next step was to get the approval from National City (our 2nd mortgage.)

And we got that yesterday! Just like that. Getting it done. No Bull----. As soon as the National City approval came through, we entered 'escrow' (see definition at the bottom of the post) and the buyers were already scheduling the property and termite inspections.

What does this mean?

This means we are on the path to successfully avoid foreclosure.
We will officially celebrate when we close. But, this is good. Great, actually. Things are looking up, indeed.

Our closing date is June 27th. 30 days. That means we have one month left in this house. That means that we can start selling things. We can start planning. We can begin to move on. Yesterday, I sold (with lots of help from a friend) enough books to earn $109 on abebooks.com. Today I'm cleaning the house, getting more boxes, selling my remaining books at a used book store, bringing some items to Goodwill, planning a giant estate sale. Moving on.

Yesterday as my friend and I itemized our belongings and entered them into an excel spreadsheet, it hit me, this is actually exciting. I mean it. I'm excited to sell all this stuff. I didn't think I could do it. But I am and I'm excited. I think I'd feel totally different if I were packing everything and having to store it somewhere until who knows when. That would be completely different.

"Yeah, how depressing," said my friend.

This is exciting and not depressing because it's an adventure. An opportunity to learn. To wipe the slate clean and begin again.

Last week Bob said to me,

"I don't want to acquire things. I want to acquire experiences."

And that's exactly it. That's what I want our life to be. Acquiring experiences. I think it's what I've always wanted. And that's what we're doing. Yes, this has been incredibly challenging, but I am so grateful for the experiences we've 'acquired' in the process. We are far more interesting now than before. Lighter, freer, happier. And Bull Shit Free.

What's escrow?

From Realtor.com:

Escrow opens when the buyer and seller sign a sales contract, commonly called a real estate purchase agreement and receipt of deposit. The contract, along with any additional instructions, serves as instructions for the escrow officer.

Escrow assures that the lender releases the home purchase funds at or about the same time that the deed is recorded to reflect new ownership. Escrow includes depositing, with a neutral third party, funds, documents and instructions necessary to complete the transfer.

For us, escrow means that things are moving ahead. But, like I said, we won't officially celebrate until the deal is done. Until June 27th.

Any readers want to elaborate on the ramifications of escrow in California? Do it in the comments below! Thanks!

Today it's Frank Sinatra. Definitely Frank Sinatra

So, yeah, we lost our buyers.

It's funny how everything can change in a day... less than a day. A moment.

This morning we received the official short sale approval letter from National City (our second) and then I wrote the post about inventorying our life and getting ready for the big move. Not long after that we found out that our buyer was withdrawing the offer.

Why? We're not sure exactly. Cold feet. Perhaps they realized that the house was more than they could afford even at the deal they were getting. We can't say for sure.

Were we surprised? No. We were disappointed but not surprised.

Why not? Because we've been dealing with this for nine months. Nothing is real until it's real. The floor is there one minute, the next it's not.

But we really thought this buyer wanted the house, right? That's true. We did think that. It did seem that way. And yes, I even blogged about that in You're Just Having a Moment. I wrote:

"...we found a buyer who truly loves this house. He will take care of it. He'll be a good neighbor. He'll enjoy living here as much as we have. I know. I could see it in his eyes when he was here. He's already mentally moved in."

Well, yes. Yes. Obviously I was wrong. The thing is, though, today we received a piece of mail addressed to the buyer. Yep. Sent to our house (the house he's no longer buying) in his name.

What do you call that? Irony. You call it irony.

What does this all mean? It means that it will take a little bit longer. Still.

Is there an upside? There's always an upside. And here it is: We have official approval on the short sale from both lenders- Countrywide and National City. This means that whoever puts the next offer in won't have to wait too long. We're half way there.

AND we already have interested buyers. We could get an offer by the end of the week. Most likely tomorrow we'll change the status of the MLS listing to say "Active" and we'll start showing the house again. Perhaps another open house. We'll know more tomorrow.

Did I pack any boxes today? No. I did not pack any boxes today.

Are we okay? Yes. We're better than okay. We're great, in fact. We've grown accustomed to change and waiting and things falling through and not knowing and being up one day and down the next... I've gotten used to hanging upside down. That's how it feels. Not like a roller coaster ride. I like roller coaster rides. This feels like being stuck upside down on a ride and all the change has long since fallen out of my pockets. I've been hanging there so long that the world seems right side up like this. Truthfully, I only feel like that some of the time.

What I keep thinking is this: "Well, here we go again."

And if these buyers got cold feet, they weren't the right buyers for the house. This could very well be a blessing in disguise. One thing we know for sure is that opportunity can be found in the most unsuspecting situations and places. Lurking. Waiting for someone to grab hold. So that's what we're doing. Again. Do I sound like a broken record yet? We're all about the opportunity in every situation and we're getting very good at remembering that.

What does that mean? It means we really are fine. That we've already downshifted and are drafting our new plan.

In pencil.

That's Life by Frank Sinatra
That's life, that's what all the people say.
You're riding high in April,
Shot down in May
But I know I'm gonna change that tune,
When I'm back on top, back on top in June.