"The Inquisition"
Just a quick recap:
I experience darkest moment of whole foreclosure experience which leads to a day of recovery in the form of movie watching. We've just finished KUNG FU PANDA and I'm feeling a little better thanks to that delightful film. Now I'm ready for public. At least I think I am. I think it will be good for me to get up off the couch, shower, make a salad and eat smoked ribs with other human beings. This, I believe, I can handle.
And on with the story:
I'm now at the BBQ, picking the meat off said ribs and telling a couple of friends how we are planning a sale to sell everything. I know I shouldn't bring it up. My goal was to NOT talk about the house. I'm still feeling on the verge of tears. Feeling "leaky," as it were. But I bring it up because, well, I just... they're offering to help. So I say, "Thank you. That would be great!" and that's the end of that. Next topic. Something more cheerful, please?
But, someone had been listening. And decided to join the conversation. Not a terrible crime. It is a BBQ. We're all friends of friends. But I don't know this person and I really don't want to talk to strangers about our financial disaster. It's my own fault. I shouldn't have brought it up. "You're selling everything?" he asks. We'll call him Bud. Do I really have to answer him?
ME: Yes.
BUD: Why?
ME: Um, well...(would it be rude to say I really don't want to talk about it?)
BUD: Are you moving?
ME: Yes.
BUD: Why?
ME: Well, we're selling our house.
BUD: Why?
ME: (oh my freaking lord) Why?
BUD: It's a terrible time to sell. It's the worst time to sell.
ME: Yes, I know.
BUD: Then why?
ME: Because we have to.
BUD: Why?
ME: (seriously?!?!) Because we can't afford it anymore.
BUD: Why?
ME: (speechless)
BUD: Can't you rent it out?
ME: (is this really happening right now?!) No. That won't work.
BUD: Oh. What about refinancing? You should try that.
ME: We did.
BUD: You did?
ME: (getting pretty pissy now) We tried everything. (period. end of conversation.)
BUD: But you really shouldn't sell now if you can--
ME: (cutting him off... ripping off the band-aid) We're in foreclosure!
Suddenly all eyes at this big, long table are on me. Followed by a chorus of:
"Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh."
(Which translates to: how sad, you poor thing, glad that's not me, yikes, etc.)
ME: Yeah.
Just then Bob returns with beverages. A beer for himself (homemade by the host!) and a Mexican Coke for me. What makes it Mexican? It's imported. From Mexico. And it's awesome. It's way better than American Coke. Why? It has Sugar Cane instead of High Fructose Corn Syrup and it always comes in a glass bottle. It's a classy choice by our host to provide Mexican Coke. Classy.
BOB: How's it going?
ME: Oh, fine. Thanks for the Coke! (I turn to my friends) Look! Mexican Coke!
I am desperate for anything else to talk about.
FRIEND: What's Mexican Coke?
So I explain. With relish and great detail. I'm grateful for this new conversation. To have something so trivial to discuss. I am aware that Bud has turned his questions to Bob. I try not to listen. But I hear him fire away. And I hear Bob answer each one with great patience and generosity. Today I'm Doom and he's Hope.
Bob explains how he lost his job and... so this Mexican Coke is so good, right? It's pretty sweet, but better flavor and better for you. Right?
Okay, the thing is... this is exactly why we started this blog. Why? To answer people's questions. To pull back the curtain. There are a lot of people who are terrified that our experience will become their experience. They're afraid the same thing will happen to them and we have been willing to share our experience to hopefully make a difference for others. It was our choice to do this. To become the walking face of foreclosure.
Bob tells me later that Bud's questions were coming from his own fear. He and his wife had just bought a house and she had apparently just lost her job. Our reality is his biggest fear right now. Bob said that he seemed really negative about their situation so he was trying to leave them with some hope.
I get it. People want to know what they can do to NOT end up like us. And they want to know what it's like in case they do. Like a former co-worker of mine. At least once a week he would say to me, "I want you to tell me more about foreclosure because I'm afraid we'll end up there soon."
So, if there are any readers out there with the same fears.... I hope this blog helps. I hope you learn from our mistakes. I hope we leave you with some hope. I hope you don't spend too much time worrying. I hope you don't let your fears (like I did on Sunday) possess you. And it's okay if you do. We get it. Trust me. We get it.
At this point I invite you to ask us questions.
What do you want to know? Ask anything.
You can do that in the comments section below.
Or send us an e-mail at:
loveinthetimeofforeclosure@gmail.com
Please. Ask away. That's what we're here for!
-Where to buy Mexican Coke? Costco of course [Serious Eats]
